reforged sword

Kippei found himself too restless to sleep the first night they'd been back, and he'd spent most of it thinking, quietly, while Shinji slept. It was a gradual realisation of the fact that he'd already made a decision--he wanted out, and he wanted Shinji with him, and he was going to find a way to do it. If Shinji couldn't go without the quiet room, then Kippei would have to find a way to bring the quiet room to him.

He took time after that, as often as he could without being too obvious, walking around the city looking for a place to live, a place that he could build Shinji a room of his own. And when he was at school, he went to look at the room they'd built there, asking questions and finding out how it was built and what it did, exactly, and how it all worked. Details, because he'd need them to build one of his own and he couldn't afford to mess it up or Shinji would get hurt.

It was a slow process, however, because he couldn't take too much time at it or Shinji would wonder why he was so busy all of a sudden, and he couldn't think about any of it when Shinji was there. He wanted it to be a surprise, when it was finally done. Not that it really required much thinking about; he knew what he had to do, was learning how to do it, knowledge that could be tucked safely away, and the rest was just doing it. So it was fairly easy for him to not think of it at all when Shinji was around, since he was pretty focused on Shinji then anyway.

He hummed, pleased with himself as he went to pick Shinji up at the end of one of his training classes. Kippei was rather relieved that Shinji was getting back to where he'd been before in terms of control. It scared the hell out of him to think that even Shinji didn't really know what the hell to do with the crazy power inside of his head.

Kippei was just walking, now, aimlessly pacing the streets with grim determination, having absolutely no idea where to look, but unable to just sit around and do nothing while Shinji was missing. He'd scoured the streets near the ice cream place that Ryou had pointed out, asking (okay, demanding) of anyone he met if they'd been around or seen anything, but the longer time went on the less and less likely it was that he'd find anyone who might have.

Shinji had just vanished, apparently into thin air. Kippei could not find a trace of him or Ohtori, or anyone who had seen anything. There was just nothing. So he just kept walking, covering the main streets and hoping desperately that if Shinji was nearby, Shinji might hear him or Kippei might be able to... sense him somehow, or something. The likelihood of him picking Shinji's mass signature out in the middle of the city was slim to none, impossible really, but he clung to it anyway because it was all he had, staying out all day tramping up and down the streets of the city, randomly choosing different directions and trying to cover as much ground as possible, but he was only one man and he was forced to face the possibility that he wouldn't find anything. That Shinji was just... gone. Hurt, maybe killed, not coming back.

He couldn't even hang on to the furious anger at the ones who had taken him, because the mere thought of never finding Shinji again made him feel dead inside, and he kept looking more desperately than before, because that could not, could not happen. Not now, not after everything, not when he'd just finally really gotten Shinji back. Other people on the street looked at him like he was insane, with his wild expression and occasional mutterings of 'no, no, no,' and he ignored them. Of course he wasn't sane, Shinji was gone.

When he was finally forced to admit exhaustion, if not defeat, he dragged himself back to the institute--it wasn't home if Shinji wasn't there--and prepared to sleep for as few hours as he could manage before he went back out again. He stopped in the middle of the room, blinking in the dark. There was someone in his bed. No way. No way, it couldn't be, Shinji was gone... he really was crazy now if he was seeing things.

"...Shinji?" he asked anyway in a hoarse, strained voice. Couldn't be. He was hallucinating or something.

Kippei was fairly certain that Shinji's 'hypothetical' question, like his own, referred to a real thing. Shinji was bored, and wanted to do something. Kippei had no idea what Shinji wanted to do, or if he even knew, but Kippei had a few ideas of his own. Shinji might not like them, but he might have a different idea so it was all good.

"So you want to do something?" he asked, once he found Shinji and kissed him three times--once for hello and once for reassurance that no, he wasn't dying, and once just because Shinji tasted that good.

Kippei woke up slowly, reluctant to leave the warm, easy comfort of sleep. He'd slept well for the first time in what seemed like forever, deep and dreamless and permeated with that sense of warm contentment. He woke up with his face buried in Shinji's hair and sighed deeply, smiling a little to himself without bothering to open his eyes. Shinji was snuggling in his arms, limbs all tangled around each other like they used to do, and it was....wait. Like they used to? Kippei woke up fast and went very still as an ice cold chill swept over him. Dammit. He should have know better than to try to sleep next to Shinji, should have known this would happen and at least thank god Shinji wasn't awake yet and freaking out. Kippei didn't think he could move without waking him, either.

He closed his eyes again and stayed where he was, breathing into Shinji's hair and trying to pretend that he wasn't awake, that nothing was wrong, that everything was just as perfectly right as it felt like it should be. Maybe if he let Shinji think he woke up first, that would be easier, because for the life of him he couldn't move away.

Kippei carried Shinji all the way home, taking him directly to their room. He thought about taking him to the medical center, but whatever was wrong with him it wasn't likely something they could fix, anyway. And he wasn't in any hurry to let more scientists, however well meaning, anywhere near his boyfriend. He was worried as hell, Shinji looked terrible; pale as snow almost literally, and still out cold. Kippei didn't like it at all, but he had no idea what Echizen had done to him, or what Shinji had done to himself for that matter. He got cold chills all the way down his spine remembering that last sad smile Shinji had given him. He'd done something.

All he could think to do was get Shinji safe in their room, in bed, laying him down and curling tightly around him, wrapping him up and waiting for him to wake up again. If he woke up again. He had no idea what he was going to do if Shinji didn't, but hunting Echizen down and killing him was right up there on the list of possibilities.

Kippei didn't like leaving Shinji alone, at all. Not for a minute, not anywhere, but especially not where he was now. However, as long as Kii was there he had little choice but to take him out for a bit at least once or twice a day. Kippei had seriously considered asking someone else to take him and keep him for a few days, but Shinji seemed to really like having Kii with him, and the only ones Kippei could think of to ask would be Oshitari, or Saeki himself, and neither of them was in much shape to deal with an extra kitten right now. Besides, he already owed Oshitari a favor, he couldn't ask him for a new one.

So he took the cat outside as quickly as possible, hurrying back to the room with the consciousness that Shinji was alone. He didn't want Shinji to be alone, ever.

That was Shinji. That hurt.

Kippei stumbled a bit and froze, wanting to run and help Shinji right now, but he didn't know where he was. He shouldn't have left him alone, stupid, stupid, he should have known better. He'd come out to play basketball for a little while, by himself because he couldn't be bothered rounding up random people for a game, and also because he hadn't wanted to take the time for a proper one.

Apparently, even this was too much. Stupid. He cursed himself again as he looked around, moving off the basketball court because at least he knew Shinji wasn't here. He must be fairly close, he thought, if it had been that strong. Taking Kii out, maybe, since Kippei hadn't been there to do it. He immediately felt guilty, worry creasing his face as he kept going, making a circle around the grounds, looking for Shinji.

He spent a good fifteen minutes covering all the areas outside the main building where he thought Shinji might have been, but there was no sign of him. Fucking stupid, he should know where Shinji was, hell, he should have been with him. Whatever had happened, it was all his fault. Shinji had been resting and Kippei had been wanting to play some basketball ever since that Ryuhana idiot had made a post suggesting it, and by himself was better than nothing, but not at this kind of price. He was really worried now. What if Shinji was lying hurt somewhere or passed out or... his brain could think of too many disasters.

Finally he gave up, heading back to their room in the faint hope that Shinji might have managed to drag himself back there from wherever he'd been. To his surprise and immense relief, Shinji was actually there, and yes, passed out cold, or at least sleeping. Jesus. Kippei crossed the room in two seconds flat, dropping to his knees beside the bed and touching Shinji's arm, taking his wrist to check his pulse.

"Shinji?" he whispered, not wanting to think at him because he must have a hell of a headache. "What happened, Shin?" He wasn't really expecting an answer.

Note: this is after the most recent log. Warnings for weirdness, violence, and angst. Also, have NO idea if the science sucks horribly. Was not in the mood to do research. It's a dream, so... poetic licence? I was way overtired, and. This was me wondering what it would look like if xp Kippei had a temper tantrum. Yeah. >>;

( in my dreams I can save you )