xp log: kippei and shinji

[shattermelt]

Kippei was just walking, now, aimlessly pacing the streets with grim determination, having absolutely no idea where to look, but unable to just sit around and do nothing while Shinji was missing. He'd scoured the streets near the ice cream place that Ryou had pointed out, asking (okay, demanding) of anyone he met if they'd been around or seen anything, but the longer time went on the less and less likely it was that he'd find anyone who might have.

Shinji had just vanished, apparently into thin air. Kippei could not find a trace of him or Ohtori, or anyone who had seen anything. There was just nothing. So he just kept walking, covering the main streets and hoping desperately that if Shinji was nearby, Shinji might hear him or Kippei might be able to... sense him somehow, or something. The likelihood of him picking Shinji's mass signature out in the middle of the city was slim to none, impossible really, but he clung to it anyway because it was all he had, staying out all day tramping up and down the streets of the city, randomly choosing different directions and trying to cover as much ground as possible, but he was only one man and he was forced to face the possibility that he wouldn't find anything. That Shinji was just... gone. Hurt, maybe killed, not coming back.

He couldn't even hang on to the furious anger at the ones who had taken him, because the mere thought of never finding Shinji again made him feel dead inside, and he kept looking more desperately than before, because that could not, could not happen. Not now, not after everything, not when he'd just finally really gotten Shinji back. Other people on the street looked at him like he was insane, with his wild expression and occasional mutterings of 'no, no, no,' and he ignored them. Of course he wasn't sane, Shinji was gone.

When he was finally forced to admit exhaustion, if not defeat, he dragged himself back to the institute--it wasn't home if Shinji wasn't there--and prepared to sleep for as few hours as he could manage before he went back out again. He stopped in the middle of the room, blinking in the dark. There was someone in his bed. No way. No way, it couldn't be, Shinji was gone... he really was crazy now if he was seeing things.

"...Shinji?" he asked anyway in a hoarse, strained voice. Couldn't be. He was hallucinating or something.

Comments

[tindomelin.livejournal.com]

Shinji heard Kippei coming a mile away but didn't want to reach out; didn't want to use his powers if he didn't have to and Kippei was coming home anyway, so he waited and then Kippei was there and stunned and thought he was hallucinating. Kippei was thinking too much, in Shinji's opinion and he lashed out without really thinking about it. His powers were out of control, completely beyond whatever small restraint he might have once had on them. He had been exposed to more minds than ever before, and now...now he felt them all, right there, as if he was still in all of them, on the edge of listening.

Shhh, quiet! No thinking! That hurts...don't make noise...quiet! He couldn't even begin to contain it to just Kippei, the thoughts spilling out, deleting, rewriting...hopefully not hurting anyone. He just wanted Kippei to get in bed already.

[kementur.livejournal.com]

That was Shinji. That was definitely Shinji. Kippei stopped thinking and just stumbled closer, taking off his jacket with clumsy hands and kicking off his boots, crawling on to the bed beside Shinji and reaching out to touch him cautiously as if he were afraid he might disappear. Shinji was back. Ohgod, Shinji was back. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe, drawing quick sobbing gasps past the tightness in his throat. He wanted to cry, dammit, and he wasn't going to, but he couldn't believe how much it hurt. He wasn't even sure why it hurt; Shinji was back, so it was all good. But he couldn't afford to think about it right now, not when it would hurt Shinji, so he just laid down and curled up beside him, pulling him close and holding him tight.

[tindomelin.livejournal.com]

Shinji winced at the sobs and the chaotic static coming from Kippei's head. He as being damn near suffocated Kippei was holding so tight, but he didn't mind at all, wanting to be that close and wrapping his own arms around Kippei the same way.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted some ice cream and I tried to say no but that had this machine and it sounded bad and it hurt my head and I couldn't fight them and they were like us and all I wanted to do was come home and be with you."

[kementur.livejournal.com]

"Shh," Kippei told him. "You're home now. You're safe." He stroked Shinji's hair, rather obsessively, petting and soothing and generally just cuddling him close. He had no idea how Shinji had gotten home or what the hell had happened, but right now, it so did not matter. As long as Kippei could keep hanging on and make sure it didn't happen again, they were good.

[tindomelin.livejournal.com]

Shinji felt like crying, but he didn't because Kippei wasn't, just holding on instead and yeah..they were good. He inhaled that scent and let his hands slip under Kippei's shirt to caress warm skin and finally started to relax, letting his own thoughts fade until there was nothing but static and Kippei.

"Love you."

[kementur.livejournal.com]

Yeah, okay, he could breathe now. Kippei took a deep breath and then another, gradually relaxing too under Shinji's hands, still shaking a little. "I was so worried," he managed finally. "I was so worried about you." That didn't begin to cover it, really. He'd been half out of his mind.