xp log: kippei and shinji

[shattermelt]

Kippei was getting a little discouraged with lack of success in his plan. He'd spent at least half of every day shirtless, had slept in the nude every night this week, and Shinji had barely seemed to notice after that first evening. He still watched, but he was much more careful about it and Kippei couldn't quite tell if he was staring because he liked what he saw, or if he was just uncomfortable. He was pretty sure that the former was the case, but it was still discouraging to have no other result after a week of being as obvious as he could possibly be without going 'hey, Shinji, look how naked I am! want to do something about it?'

He sighed and laid back on his bed and contemplated the ceiling. It had some interesting cracks in it. Like cracks in rock. He should go rock climbing sometime soon. Anything. The frustration was making him restless, and he felt more trapped than usual inside the school and this small room that held too much distraction and not enough at the same time.

Comments

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Rockclimbing? Shinji blinked, wondering how Kippei expected to be able to go rockclimbing naked. Sleeping like that was one thing, but climbing a wall was another thing altogether. Kippei had no shame whatsoever, unlike Shinji who after ogling Kippei for a week straight was quite convinced his own body was little more than fourteen, unlikely to grow any bigger, and seemingly completely inadequate for anything other than the most basic tasks. He had tried to make himself a bowl of ice cream this morning, but gave up after dropping the tub seven times and figuring that was enough bad luck for the time being. He was too tired to lift a tub out of the freezer, and had fallen asleep in training a total of twenty nine times in less than four days. It was getting ridiculous and he was getting cross and cranky and couldn't figure out why until he found himself once again sitting on his bed, Kii in his lap, the both of them completely obvious to the world, staring at Kippei.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei got bored shortly with the ceiling and also with feeling sorry for himself, and rolled over, propping himself up on one elbow to look over at Shinji. Shinji still looked tired, maybe more tired. Kippei was worried that he was coming down with something, sick with the flu maybe, but he'd checked for a fever and Shinji had been fine, although his face had been a little flushed. Still, that didn't seem grounds for an emergency.

"You look tired," he said finally. "Are you feeling okay?"

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"'m tired," Shinji mumbled, not really sure what Kippei had said, everything in his head getting more than a little jumbled. He was distracted by the soft feel of Kii's fur, and the way Kippei's stomach was curved, just slightly, the skin pulled tight over the muscle. Shinji's stomach didn't look like that...that was sexy, and he couldn't look away.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Yes, okay," Kippei agreed patiently. "You look tired, you feel tired. Are you feeling okay otherwise? Sick, hot, hurting anywhere?" Shinji looked more than tired, he looked exhausted really. Kippei sat up and studied him closely, noting the smudges like bruises under his eyes and the sort of glazed look in them. Something wrong. He didn't know what, exactly.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Something was wrong? Shinji frowned, because he didn't feel sick or hot or hurt or anything, so he shook his head. No, he was fine. Kippei was a worry wart.

"'m just tired." And completely entranced by the colour of Kippei's nipple. Why was it a different colour to the rest of his skin? They were darker than Shinji's too, but Kippei was generally darker since he had a tan, but still. It was interesting.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei frowned. "Why are you so tired?" he insisted. "I'm getting worried about you. Maybe we should take you down to the med center or something." Not that he wanted any doctors anywhere near Shinji, but it would be rather like cutting off his nose to spite his face if Shinji really was sick.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"'m just tired!" Shinji insisted grumpily, finally frustrated enough to turn away, curling up on the bed with Kii, though it didn't help much. He could still see every line of Kippei's body in his head. It haunted the dreams he had, while he was still awake. He thought it was weird that you could dream and be awake at the same time, but it happened, so whatever.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei sighed and got up, crossing the room to sit beside him on the bed. "You're exhausted, Shinji," he said bluntly. "You look like you're getting sick or something. That's not just tired--there must be a reason. Haven't you been sleeping well? Bad dreams or something?"

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"My dreams are fine," Shinji mumbled, and they were. He just wished he could have them while he was asleep, like a normal person. Instead, he was having his own daydreams, and Kippei's and every other person in the area's.

"Can't sleep."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei frowned some more, reaching to stroke his hair and feeling like he was missing some piece of the puzzle, but he didn't know what it was. "Why? You haven't been sleeping at all?"

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"I said I was tired!" Shinji moaned, on the verge of tears for no damn good reason other than he was too tired to deal with anything and a half naked Kippei, who was sexy as all hell and deliberately wandering around their room naked, was now sitting on the edge of his bed and touching his hair and Shinji wanted but had no idea what he wanted and it was just making him stressed and desperate.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Okay, I'm sorry," Kippei said soothingly, rubbing his back a little helplessly and wondering what the hell to do now. "I know you're tired, Shinji, but you shouldn't be this tired and I'm just trying to figure out how to help." He sighed, slightly frustrated. He didn't want to make Shinji upset, but neither did he want to let this go when Shinji was obviously not well.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"If you want to help then try putting on some damn clothes!" Shinji hissed at him, grabbing his pillow and slamming it over his head, mortified and tired and not wanting Kippei to see him cry, even if it was just the 'I'm so tired I think I am going to die' sort of crying.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei stared at him, not at all sure what that had to do with anything. "Clothes?" he repeated blankly. He looked down at himself and frowned in confusion. Sure, he wasn't wearing a shirt, but how would putting one on make Shinji less tired? "I don't see what the problem is," he muttered, but he went to find a shirt anyway. It wasn't like it seemed to be doing him any good to have it off.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji groaned at Kippei's thoughts, wondering how Kippei could be so bloody stupid at the same damn time he was being insufferably understanding and horrendously sexy. He whimpered, feeling the frustration almost like physical pain, eyes still watering in desperation, wanting to close and sleep and his brain to turn off.

"You're an idiot, Tachibana Kippei! You are such an idiot!" He howled into the pillow, punching it and wishing he could just curl up and die.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji lost it, blubbering into the pillow and barely remembering to let Kii get out of the way before curling up tight into a ball.

"You sleep naked! On top of the sheets and you don't have any clothes on and you look really good and you know you do and you do it on purpose and you sleep just fucking fine and have these incredible dreams and you do all sorts of things to me in them, and then you wake up and you only put pants on and not a shirt and you deliberately parade around all day as if I can't see you, but I can, I can't see anything else and I can't sleep and I can't stop hearing what you're thinking and I can't stop wanting stuff I don't even know anything about and I just want to go to sleep!"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei blinked, taken aback by the reaction. He was an idiot? Why was he an idiot? He didn't get what he was missing. Apparently this was his fault, or Shinji seemed to think so. He came back over to stand beside the bed, just hovering, not wanting to sit back down if Shinji was mad at him.

"I'm sorry," he said after a minute, sounding confused. "What did I do?"

[(Anonymous)]

Shinji lost it, blubbering into the pillow and barely remembering to let Kii get out of the way before curling up tight into a ball.

"You sleep naked! On top of the sheets and you don't have any clothes on and you look really good and you know you do and you do it on purpose and you sleep just fucking fine and have these incredible dreams and you do all sorts of things to me in them, and then you wake up and you only put pants on and not a shirt and you deliberately parade around all day as if I can't see you, but I can, I can't see anything else and I can't sleep and I can't stop hearing what you're thinking and I can't stop wanting stuff I don't even know anything about and I just want to go to sleep!"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei's mouth dropped open and he stared down at Shinji, a little stunned. What? He hadn't been sure Shinji had even noticed or that it was affecting him that much, never mind this level of stress it was apparently giving him. He hadn't been sleeping because of that?

"Um," he said blankly, not even knowing where to start with a response to that. "I'm....sorry? I didn't know it was bothering you." But Shinji said it made him want things, so maybe that part of it was working.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"How the hell could it not bother me when you're wandering around NAKED! It's not even a bad bothered, its a really good bothered. Like...really, really good! And I can't stop thinking about it and I just want to die! Dying would be good then I would never have to think again!" He didn't mean it, but anything seemed a better alternative to thinking. "I just want to go to sleeeeeep!"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei bit his lip, torn between amusement and guilt. He hadn't meant to upset Shinji so much--bother him, yes, but Shinji sound miserable and not a little pissed off. He sighed and took a seat on the edge of the bed again, running his hand up and down Shinji's arm and wishing he could do something.

"I'm sorry," he said again. Maybe you should stop thinking about it and just do something about it, but he wasn't going to say that. "I won't do it anymore."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Do something about it? Do something about it!" Shinji tossed the pillow at Kippei, hard, but it was just a pillow and in the end it was never going to hurt, so he didn't feel bad. God, he wished he could tune out of Kippei's head.

"You can do it, just...not all the damn time! What would you do, if I started walking around with my shirt off, and slept naked and did what you've been doing? I just want to go to sleep!" Yes, he was complaining and wailing and he so did not care.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"I'd jump you," Kippei answered calmly. Duh, wasn't that obvious? He was a bit puzzled, still not understanding why the hell Shinji couldn't sleep. "Go to sleep then, I won't bother you anymore. But I don't get it. If you want something, why pretend that you don't?"

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Jump me? What the hell is jump me supposed to mean? I can't go to sleep because all I can think about is you, you, you and I can hear you thinking and I'm not pretending I don't! I want...I want...I don't know what the hell it is I want!"

And he had had enough of wanting it and not getting it, so he slumped back against the blankets and just let his stupid eyes tear because his brain was way too tired to try and stop it.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei felt bad as soon as he discovered that Shinji was so upset. He felt even worse once he realised that Shinji didn't even know enough about what he wanted to do something about it even if he wanted to. Sighing, he made a mental note to kick himself for it later, and stretched out on the blankets to curl up around Shinji, kissing his temple and holding him. He didn't know what to say; he wasn't entirely sure what Shinji wanted either.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji whimpered, feeling tired and drained and just wanting to go to sleep and get...something. He shifted closer to Kippei and realised he really liked the warmth and closeness, so he snuggled closer, right up against Kippei until he wished Kippei hadn't put his shirt back on, only it was probably good that he had. He wove his limbs around Kippei's until he could hardly feel places Kippei wasn't touching and finally breathed a sigh of relief, eyes sliding shut at last.

"Stop thinking. Don't you dare think a single thing. No thinking, no dreaming, no mental activity whatsoever is allowed."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei shrugged, wrapping more tightly around him and trying not to think at all, which he was usually pretty good at, but the lingering guilt of making Shinji so upset with his stupid idea was making it kind of hard. He sighed, resting his cheek against Shinji's hair and wishing he was better at this whole starting over thing.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

He had made Kippei feel bad; had maybe hurt his feelings a little, but right at that moment Shinji didn't care, posessed by the need to sleep. Kippei's mind was blissfully quiet and Shinji settled into it quickly, determined to make it up to Kippei when he woke up, after a nice long, long...long sleep.