xp log: oshitari, shinji and kippei

[shattermelt]

It felt good to be somewhat more in control of himself than he was, Oshitari thought as he meandered down the hallway from his room. He still had his moments, times where he wasn't sure if everything around him was reality or not, or if he was still strapped and drugged in that damned lab room, but they were more spaced out now, less severe then they had been. And he wasn't attacking the entire household with his power anymore either. Well, hardly ever.

It was...strange...to say the least, being able to feel his own psionic energy in his mind, when he wasn't using his power. He needed to sit down and figure out exactly how it all worked now, and why, but with everything that had been going on, he simply hadn't thought about it much at all. Now that they had Saeki back, and recovering, and the rest of the house was relatively normal, he supposed he could work on it.

Or he could start his plans to obliterate the rest of the laboratories on his list...perhaps pay the Humanity Now group a visit for their treatment of Koujirou. The thoughts had him stopping outside of Shinji and Tachibana's door. He had seen neither hide nor hair of them since Shinji had gone tearing from his room over the spider incident; which he had no recollection of, but Akira assured him the other blue haired mutant had 'freaked out'. A bit impulsively, he tried the knob, found it locked for once (amusing) and rapped sharply on the door three times.

Comments

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

Eyes traveling down Shinji's accusing finger back up to the smaller mutant's face, Oshitari's eyebrow rose incredibly high.

"This might make far more sense if I had been included in your little tiff", he drawled a moment later, eyes shifting briefly to Tachibana.

So, the cat was out of the bag, so to speak? Well, he hadn't thought it would last so very long, personally. There was only so much they could do to mask their animosity towards one another. Something about Tachibana just rubbed him wrong; it was as simple and complicated as that.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei shifted, pulling Shinji closer, more for his own comfort than to send any kind of message.

"Not a fight," he said tiredly. "I said..." He frowned in concentration, pulling it back from wherever Shinji had banished it to. "Maybe you were right," he told Oshitari. "About me." And he was still sorry, but Shinji was already mad at them both, so maybe it didn't matter anymore.

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

It only took one look at Shinji to guess how the other mutant felt about that comment. Oshitari mentally rolled his eyes. Of all the pointless, stupid...Now what was Tachibana's problem?

"As much as I enjoy hearing that I could be right", he began, sitting up and draping an arm around his knee, "Since when do you care what I think of you, Tachibana? Actually, since I do not believe you've suddenly started holding my opinions in any regard, I can only guess you are associating your own fool insecurities with what I may have said previously."

Frowning, he reached a hand out to flick the other mutant in the shoulder. "Is it not Shinji-kun's opinion that counts to you more? Fool."

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

And now they were fighting. Great. Shinji reached out and grabbed hold of the both of them, took a deep breath and decided to hell with it; it wasn't like either one of them had anything in their heads with it. He deleted their reactions and yanked them hard together, ducking out of the way and listening to their heads smacking together. There, now he wasn't the only one with a dogaweful headache, and he felt much better.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei grunted in pain and jerked away, rubbing his head, and glaring at Oshitari as if it had been his fault. Not helping, Shin! he complained.

He squeezed his eyes shut until the jarring ache faded, taking a deep breath. Aside from the fact that Oshitari was still an annoying prick and thought he knew it all, Shinji wanted them to get along and Kippei honestly did not care what Oshitari thought. He took another deep breath, pushing aside his annoyance, and then he sat back and wrapped his arms around one knee, shrugging.

"Shinji's opinion is the only one that matters. So now I know." He frowned at Oshitari. "And he likes you, which means he's a saint, because you are fucking hard to like." Not from lack of trying. Sort of. Maybe it was just that Oshitari liked Shinji to begin with. It was hard to even want to like somebody that thought you were a waste of space and time and breath.

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

Taking off his glasses to rub where his face had been thrust forcibly at Tachibana's granite head, Oshitari peered through his fingers at the other, his eyes frosty.

"Likewise", he bit out. Shinji was a saint for loving such a moron. A jealous, insecure moron on top of that. He felt absolutely no compunction in disliking someone who'd suspected and spat on every regard he had for Shinji from the very beginning. He tolerated him for Shinji's sake, because he genuinely liked and cared for the other blue haired mutant. And he couldn't ignore that Shinji obviously loved the fool.

But that didn't mean he was going to go out of his way to try and be friendly to someone who was always going to judge his actions by his selfish idiocy.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji looked from one to the other, listening to their wild dislike for each other and wondering why the hell he hadnt noticed it before. He wasn't a saint, he was a damned moron! Cowering a little between them, Shinji grabbed Kii and decided to pretend they werent there and this wasnt happening by hiding in Kii's head and systematically erasing his own awareness of them.

Ah, bliss. Hmm, Kii was hungry.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei sighed, frustrated, and rubbed his head again. Dammit. The headache did not make it any easier to deal with this, and Shinji, now that he'd thrown his little monkey wrench into the situation, was hiding behind Kii. Traitor.

"Whatever," he said wearily. "Forget it. You, leaving now," he told Oshitari, getting up and gesturing for Oshitari to follow him toward the door. "Now," he repeated insistently when it didn't look like Oshitari was going to move. He had a couple more things to say to the blue haired man, but not in front of Shinji.

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

Oshitari unfolded from the bed, slipping his glasses back onto his face as he did. Part of him wanted to sneer at the way Tachibana was ordering him around, but he was sick of being in the man's presence anyways.

Fixing Tachibana with a cold glare, he left the room, making it a point to precede the other mutant...and not touch him.

The moment he was out of the couple's room, however, every thought Shinji had supressed at that point came rushing back and he stumbled. The paranoia came back, full force, and he whirled on the footsteps and sound of the closing door behind him, hand groping for the gun that wasn't tucked into his waistband.

He didn't untense when he saw it was Tachibana, but he remained as he was, watching him and edging backwards a bit.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei eyed him as he closed the door gently behind him, wondering again what the hell had happened to him. He really did look like hell. Kippei momentarily felt bad for making him leave, since obviously Shinji had been making him feel better.

"You okay?" he asked cautiously. Then he shook his head, impatiently. Obviously not, and it wasn't like Oshitari would trust concern coming from him anyway. "What happened to you?" he demanded, worried in spite of himself. He paused, but he wasn't all that sure he'd get an answer anyway. Never mind.

"I owe you," he said abruptly, jerking his head back toward the door. "For that."

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

Trying to maintain composure, even when everything in his body was telling him to leave, to find his way back to his room where the bastard humans couldn't find him, where he could look at his two lovers and be reassured that they were all right, Oshitari frowned and backed up another half step.

"Oh. Is that all?" he asked, taking a subtle, deep breath. It helped a little, so he did it again, struggling to find that calm he'd had in Shinji's presence. Would that he could forget about Kiriyama and the lab, but to forget would be to put his guard down, to forget why the humans needed to be stopped. It was the jumble of mixed emotions from their altercation in the bedroom setting him off now, and he took a third breath. After the sixth breath, he began to look normal again, tucking his hands into his front pockets and profoundly thankful he hadn't brought his gun. No doubt he might have actually shot at Tachibana. Shinji would hardly thank him for giving his lover a twin gunshot wound.

"As for what happened to me...it is nothing you want to know", he managed quietly, sincere rather than spiteful just this once.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei shook his head impatiently. "Of course I want to know. You are important to Shinji." It was that simple, to him. His personal feelings about Oshitari mattered little, in fact he was willing to delete them from the equation entirely. Things that were important to Shinji were important to him, by default.

"I..." He took a deep breath of his own, setting his jaw. "I said thank you, but you don't understand. The headaches... there's nothing I can do about them," he admitted quietly, just as if it didn't kill him to say it. "To see him not in pain, for you to give him that for a little while... you have no idea. I.. If there's something I can do, some way I can... help, with anything, I will. I want to. I owe you." He paused briefly. "And Shinji is worried about you. You're not alright. I want to... do something. If I can."

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

"Heh."

Oshitari gave a short, bitter laugh. So Tachibana wanted to be noble? Well, there were stranger things in the world.

"I will keep that in mind. But there is no need to tell you anything. Whatever I tell you will make it back to Shinji-kun, will it now? Would you have him even more terrified than he was of the spiders? Be grateful that neither of us will ever let it happen to him, Tachibana."

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei frowned, considering this, and nodded slowly. Fair enough. He could guess well enough and he didn't need details and Oshitari was right, Kippei didn't really want Shinji to have them either. He watched the other man turn to leave and let him go, recognizing with a bit of distant surprise the look of a man who is not only wanting to get away from something, but wanting to get to something. Something to go home to. Saeki, apparently, and didn't that just beat all.

He was still frowning thoughtfully as he reentered the room and stared down at Shinji, trying to decide what to ask.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Kii looked up and blinked and Shinji realied Yuushi was gone, which was kind of sucky because he hadn't gotten to say goodbye but he would go see him tomorrow to make up for it. For now, he had Kippei all to himself.

"How about you dont ask anything and you come climb in bed with me and we kiss and make up?"

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei studied him, debating about that, because while it sounded good, he did want to ask a few questions. But he did climb onto the bed and settle himself around Shinji again, feeling better once he did so.

"Oshitari and Saeki, hm?" he murmured, nuzzling Shinji's hair. Settling for the least involved and least important question, mere idle curiosity. How had he missed that? Not that he'd been paying attention. "And Kamio?" Interesting.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Mmm...you're slow." Shinji murmered the words, curling up against Kippei, happy just to have him back in the bed with him, all warm and cuddly and perfect and if was insane, that Kippei thought Shinji didn't think he was good for him. Why the hell would he think that? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"You...no one ever wanted me before. You never believe me but they didn't..." And god, memories...hurt. He waited for the pounding in his head to soften. "That's all I want. I just want you to want me...and you do."

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

It wasn't so much that Kippei didn't believe it as he just couldn't imagine it. It was utterly beyond him how anyone could not want Shinji. If they were already taken or into someone else, maybe, but... how could any ordinary person not see how incredible Shinji was? It was incomprehensible to him, but then, he kind of liked the idea that Shinji was only perfect for one person in the world, and that was him.

"I do want you," he said firmly, "I want you forever. I just wish sometimes that..." He shrugged, a bit embarrassed. "I want to be Superman or something, be more and better and stronger for you, and smarter and... Oshitari makes me feel stupid," he admitted, shaking his head. He just didn't get the man at all. He and Shinji connected on some wavelength that was just out of Kippei's reach, and he felt like he'd failed in some way because of it.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Stupid? Shinji blinked, feeling that way himself.

"You're not superman? Aw...but that was why I was with you!" He rolled his eyes and kissed Kippei, trying to show just what he thought of him. The thing was, Shinji rather thought Kippei was Superman. When Shinji thought of the perfect mutant, he thought of Kippei, and the perfect mutant was the perfect person for Shinji. Yuushi was...oddly perfect, not perfect. It was that simple, to Shinji.

"You're not stupid. You're not even interested in that sort of stuff, so get over it. I like talking to Yuushi, but no more than I like talking to you. And I do not want to have sex with Yuushi...but I definately want to have sex with you."

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei smiled wryly, and he really didn't get it, still, but when Shinji was kissing him like that it made everything okay.

"Well, that's alright then," he said finally, stroking Shinji's hair. "I just don't want you to be disappointed when... I don't get things." He sighed, not knowing how to explain. "I'm not interested, yeah, but... I want to understand, I guess, why it interests you." He wanted to understand everything about Shinji, because Shinji was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

God, mule headed stubborn bastard! Shinji tangled his arms tight around Kippei's neck nuzzling against his throat and chuckling a little because it was so ridiculous that Tachibana Kippei was having doubts about anything, let alone him.

I'm never disappointed in you. You can't disappoint me.

"Stop doubting yourself...you're Tachibana Kippei and I love you."

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei shrugged and gave up, grinning a bit because it was nice, to hear that, and he could tell that Shinji meant it. He'd never doubted himself before, because he'd never cared what anyone else thought. Now that there was one person whose opinion meant the world to him, it was an odd shift of balance, of still being confident in himself and content with who he was, but not wanting to be thoughtless and arrogant about assuming that Shinji thought the same.

It wasn't like he never made mistakes, or did stupid things, or... well, he'd just never had to think before, about whether or not he was living up to someone else's good opinion of him. He supposed he wasn't doing all that well with handling it, at least not today. Most days, he still didn't think about it too much, because he assumed Shinji would tell him if he wasn't happy about something.

Same goes for you, he countered wryly. Nothing's ever going to make me change my mind about you.

"I love you too," he whispered, burying his face in Shinji's hair. Love you so goddamn much.