oob log: kippei and akira

[shattermelt]

It felt good to be able to run regularly again. Akira's usual routine had gotten so disrupted by everything that had been happening lately that he'd been worried about getting too out of shape. Shinji would probably have laughed at him for such a thought, but he had them all the same. Not that it mattered. His muscles were humming pleasantly from the exertion, and all he wanted now was a shower and maybe a sandwhich.

And, of course, to relax and spend the rest of his day with his boyfriends. Maybe, if he was lucky, one of them had been bored enough to do the dishes for him. He smiled to himself, toeing off his sneakers as he walked through the front door. And maybe Jason the turtle would come back from the dead and do a little dance on Shinji's head.

Stretching his arms over his head as he walked through the house, he called, "Hey! I'm home!" No one answered, and he paused, peeking into the kitchen. There were dishes piled in soapy water in the sink, abandoned. Grimacing, he ran a hand through his sweaty hair and walked on. "Shinji? 'Pei?" The cat ran through his legs, causing him to stumble back and curse softly.

Scratching the back of his head, he started up the stairs. "Well, don't everyone greet me all at once", he groused to himself, heading for the bedroom.

Kippei raised his head when he heard Akira downstairs, blinking sleepily. It had taken him a long time, but he had finally drowsed off a bit, not really sleeping. Shinji was still asleep. Good. Kippei opened his mouth to call out to Akira, and then thought better of it. It sounded like he was on his way up, anyway.

Kippei rolled over and stretched a bit--he'd been laying in one position for too long, and his muscles were getting stiff. He sat up then, hugging his knees, and looked down at Shinji's sleeping face, just peeking out of the blankets he'd nearly smothered himself in. He didn't want to wake up. Kippei wasn't sure what hurt more, the fact that he and Akira weren't enough to make Shinji want to stay, or the knowledge that he was hurting Shinji by asking him to. But how was he supposed to let him go?

He looked up when Akira walked in, giving him a crooked smile and raising a finger to his lips to tell him to be quiet.

Comments

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

Well that was just...sweet, Akira thought. A little pointless since Kippei hadn't grown up with them, hadn't even met them until he'd joined the Fudomine tennis club...but sweet and beautiful and a bit heartbreaking all the same. He pressed closer, breathing in the scent of Kippei under his shirt, and tilted his head up to press a little kiss on his lover's neck.

"Dork. You were always with us...it just took us a long time to find you." It seemed like a practical enough statement to the redhead; he did believe in things like fate and destiny after all. Still, he was feeling decidedly sappy, wrapping his arms around Kippei, trying to console his elder lover. "You're my family too now, and our families are yours. There shouldn't be any secrets from families."

Not that he had intended to keep if from Kippei, but he'd wanted his mother and Ibu-tousan to tell him he could first...they'd always told him not to tell a soul. And the way things had been going the past year...he'd been afraid at times that it wouldn't matter, because Kippei could have left them. So he'd kept quiet, even forgetting at times that Kippei didn't know everything about their pasts yet. And they really didn't know all of his yet...still so much they all had to learn about each other.

But why did they always have to take such cataclysmic leaps to get ahead in this relationship, he wondered? Why couldn't things just be simple, just for once?

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei was silent for a moment, letting the comfort of just holding Akira ease the tension in his soul. You were always with us--Shinji had said it, and he had agreed, and Ibu-tousan had said it, and now even Akira had said it, so why was he still finding it so difficult to believe? If he'd been there, he could have changed something, maybe, done something to make any of this, even a little, less of a mess.

He needed to believe that, that it wouldn't have had to be this bad, that he could have and should have been there to change it. Unrealistic and foolish of him, no doubt, but there it was. All he could do was let it go, to focus on here and now and try to change what was, instead of what had been. No one could do that.

Kippei sighed, loosening his grip a bit, and leaned down to kiss Akira firmly, thank you and I love you and I'm sorry. "There shouldn't be," he agreed softly. "There shouldn't be any secrets."

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

Tired now, when he should only be a bit worn out from his run, Akira rested his head on the bed next to Kippei and did what he did best. Worry.

"You gave him something, right? How long do you think he'll sleep?", he asked, aching to run back to his best friend, his lover, his Shinji, but not wanting to seperate from Kippei either. Gods...what if it was the last time he'd ever get to hold Shinji, though?

"He'll know. He'll know when he wakes up. He's going to hate me, I've been lying to him half his life...no..." He tried taking a deep breath but instead started to hyperventilate just a little, struck by the worst-case scenarios running in his head.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. "Akira, relax," he ordered, not without sympathy. Shinji very probably would not like knowing that Akira had known all along, but panicking about it was not going to help the situation.

"He already knows," he murmured, kissing Akira's hair. "He'll be upset, but he's upset with everyone and everything right now. Me, you, tousan, the whole damn universe I think. He's got to deal with something he's put most of his life's energy into avoiding, and it's not going to be pretty. I think--I hope, that he can handle it, that we can make it through, the three of us together. We've survived so many things already, we can't give up now. I'm never giving up on us. We've come too far."

[daredtygrz.livejournal.com]

"Oh, this just sucks", Akira complained softly, trying to control himself and his fear, curling in closer to Kippei instinctively. He wanted to just run away from this...he wanted it so much he could already see himself in his old room, back with his mother. Far, far away from the shit before it had totally hit the fan.

Instead, he sighed heavily, taking a deep breath and letting it out slow. He'd have to see this through. And Kippei was with him. And he was right, they couldn't give up. Not on Shinji, not on each other.

Slowly he untangled himself, tugging Kippei's shirt with him as he scooted off of the daybed. "We need to be there when he wakes up, 'Pei", he murmured, hands clutching his boyfriend's shirt tightly.

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei stood up with him easily, following the tugging hands on his shirt, and wrapped his arms around Akira, giving him a tight hug. "It'll be okay," he promised, kissing the top of his head. It had to be. "Come on."

He hoisted Akira up in his arms, wrapping his legs around his waist, and carried him back toward the other room, toward Shinji. He wasn't that much heavier than Shinji, and Kippei felt the need to hold him that way just now. That was his job, to carry them both, as often as he could.