lg: kippei and shinji

[shattermelt]

It was later than usual for calling Shinji tonight. Kippei made sure he called every night, even if it was only to say goodnight, whether he'd seen him that day or not. Especially if he hadn't, because if Shinji was going to get all worried and upset and sulky about Kippei not calling him then Kippei was going to make very sure he never had a reason to do it.

It's not like he minded, either, having an excuse (even if only in his head) to call and talk to him, and it definitely helped to be able to hear his voice before he went to sleep. Seemed like he slept better then, not that he was admitting as much to anyone ever, because it was sappy and embarrassing and he might even blush, and An-chan would tease him endlessly, not that she didn't already tease him about Shinji at every opportunity, but he supposed that was what little sisters were for, and Shinji was one of the few things he was teasable about.

But it was kind of late now, really late actually, and he wondered if he'd be waking Shinji up and if he should maybe wait. If he waited, though, he probably wasn't going to sleep. He stared at the phone for a few minutes, his thumb hovering over the speed dial for Shinji's number before he finally hit the button. If Shinji didn't answer then he could leave a message or something.

Comments

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji was sulking. He had waited in his room for hours, staring at his phone on the bed and dreading every minute that dragged on into the next. Kippei called every night, even if it was just to say goodnight. Every single night. But he hadn't called tonight. At first Shinji had thought he was just late. Then he panicked, wondering if Kippei had been in an accident, but there was nothing on the news. Then he started thinking of all the places Kippei could be. Yukimura's house doing tennis tea. Fuji's house...doing whatever they did together. It was not a nice series of thoughts at all and only served to put Shinji in a darker mood. He was about ready to give up when the phone started vibrating and he stared at Kippei's number, a little stumped.

"Hello?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Kippei answered, relieved and smiling a bit to hear Shinji's voice. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?" Shinji did not sound like he'd just been woken up, but it beat the alternatives. More likely Shinji had been waiting all this time for him to call, and Kippei winced at the thought. He hadn't meant to be late, he'd just gotten a later start on his homework than usual and was finishing a paper that had to be turned in tomorrow, and he'd lost track of time.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"No, I wasn't asleep," Shinji murmured, a smile creeping across his face because it was Tachibana-san, and he was talking to him and he sounded really sexy, like always.

"Did you get your homework finished?" Because Shinji wanted him to have been doing homework and not just come home from having a date with Fuji.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei sighed, stretching out on his back and tucking one arm behind his head. "Yeah, finally. I should have started it sooner I guess. I forgot that paper for world history was due tomorrow. I had sort of started it but eh. Why are you still awake?" He knew why Shinji was still awake, or he thought he did. Shinji had been waiting for him to call, which was kind of cute, not that he'd be telling Shinji that, and not that he thought Shinji would admit it in the first place, but he was curious to see what Shinji would say.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji shrugged before he remembered that he was on the phone and Kippei wouldn't be able to see it, then he sighed and tried to think of lie that wasn't a lie, since they both knew he had been waiting for Kippei to call.

"I couldn't sleep," he mumbled, a small smile on his lips because that was the truth; he couldn't sleep when he didn't know if Kippei was off having a better time with someone else or dead in a ditch somewhere, or anything.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei was silent for a minute, knowing it was closer to the truth than probably any other answer he could have given. "Yeah," he said. "Me too. I had to call you, even though it was late." Feeling restless suddenly, he rolled over and looked at the clock--just after midnight.

"Are you tired now?" He suddenly wanted to see Shinji, right now, tonight, and actually... he could, maybe, but he wasn't sure if Shinji had really meant that he could just come over anytime, whenever he wanted.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Now?" Shinji was stumped by the question, not having expected it at all. "No...I'm talking to Tachibana-san, so I'm not tired. I only feel tired when I'm bored." A fact Kippei was pretty well acquainted with from that one time he paired Shinji up with Mori and Shinji got so bored he fell asleep right there on the court and damn near broke his nose face planting...yeah, not remembering that. Embarassing.

"Why?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Because," Kippei said, getting up and moving over to his door, stopping to listen. No one should still be awake, which meant he could probably sneak out with no trouble. Maybe he should go out the window, too. He turned to study it, debating as he answered Shinji a bit absently.

"I could come see you. I want to see you. And I can't sleep either," he added, as if it were unrelated, which it was manifestly not.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"You...you want to come see me?" Shinji pulled away so he could stare at the phone a moment, not sure if Kippei had really said that or if he just imagined he did after spending close to an hour staring forlornly at the window. "....now?" No, tomorrow...god, he was panicking. He looked down at his pajamas and damn near fainted at the idea Before he could talk himself out of it he took a deep breath and blurted out.

"I'll leave the window open, you better get here before I get bored, bye." And hung up.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei grinned to himself as he hung up the phone, amused by the reaction that was so very Shinji. He went over and pushed open his window, looking out and eyeing the ground doubtfully. Second story, not so far really.

...Or maybe he should just sneak out through the house instead--it was unlikely that he would wake anyone, but if he did, An would never let him live it down and he was stubbornly unwilling to risk it. He pulled on his shoes and slipped through the window, hanging from the tips of his fingers and jumping, landing a little harder than he would have liked, but not too bad. He needed a ladder of his own, he decided.

Fortunately he knew the way to Shinji's house in the dark, in his sleep even, and it didn't take him long to get there, especially since he ran most of the way. It took him a minute to find the ladder outside Shinji's window, but it was indeed open at the top and he climbed it quickly, only a little worried that Shinji had indeed gotten bored waiting and fallen asleep.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji had climbed into bed only because the breeze coming in through the window was cold, but he wasn't asleep, curled up under the blankets with his phone playing some random game he had found. He heard the ladder creaking and peeked out to see if it was Kippei, or some random burgler, when Kippei's head appeared over the rim. He quickly climbed out of bed and knelt at the window, looking out over the edge and smiling at Kippei.

"You promised you know...if you used it at night you had to stay til morning. I don't think you should break your promise, so you should stay."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei looked slightly surprised, and reached in to kiss him through the open window, holding onto the sill with one hand and sliding the other into Shinji's hair. On second thought, kissing Shinji while standing on a ladder, maybe not the best idea. It still tended to make him dizzy.

"Of course," he told Shinji as he let him go and leaned back, grinning. "What did you think I meant?"

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Who knows what Tachibana-san means," Shinji grumbled, hiding his delight at the kiss and moving back far enough to let Kippei get in through the window. "And be quiet, everyone is asleep you know, you shouldn't talk so much, and don't kick the side of the house, I don't want to explain why there is a hole in the wall, though I guess mum and dad will figure it out when we go down for breakfast in the morning.."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei rolled his eyes, not even close to kicking the side of wall as he climbed over the sill, resting his hands on Shinji's shoulders and jumping down lightly onto his bedroom floor.

"I don't talk nearly as much as you," he pointed out, grinning easily and tugging Shinji over toward the bed, pushing him backwards onto the pillows and leaning over him to kiss him again, more properly on solid ground.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Oh god. They were on his bed and it was after midnight and Kippei was kissing him, on his bed! How damn. Kippei had run here, Shinji could tell by the way he panted for breath and was still sweaty and smelt damn good and tasted even better, and he could hear Kippei's heart thundering in his chest. Kippei had run here, and climbed in his window and was kissing him on his bed in the middle of the night.

"I think I fell asleep," Shinji admitted, because this had to be a dream.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei chuckled softly, nuzzling at him and nipping briefly at his ear. "Wake up then, I'm here now. I'm not that boring, am I?" He was teasing, knowing that Shinji had not meant that at all, but amused and secretly pleased to think that one of Shinji's dreams was of Kippei coming to see him in the middle of the night.

"Or you can stay asleep," he murmured in Shinji's ear, "and I'll make your dreams come true." ...That was the stupidest lame thing he'd ever said to ANYONE, but it was too late to take it back, and besides, he really liked the idea of being Shinji's dream. He leaned back a little, studying Shinji with a curious expression. "Tell me. What do you dream about?"

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji was still trying to get past that voice saying that, just like that, right in his ear in that husky, gorgeous murmur. Blinking, his arms holding tight to Kippei as if he might disappear or climb back out the window, Shinji took a minute to just get his brain to function.

"You," he finally whispered. "I dream about you. Well...you and tennis. Same diff."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Mmmmm," Kippei agreed, because yeah, most of his dreams were about tennis or Shinji, often both together, so it made perfect sense to him. He loosened Shinji's grip gently and took his hands, then stretched out on his side next to him, leaning on his elbow and grinning, simply pleased to be here and to have Shinji all to himself and yeah, this was good.

"Tennis is out for tonight I think, but anything else you want..." Because really, Kippei had plenty of ideas of his own, but anything Shinji had in mind was perfect.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji couldn't but chuckle at the idea of running off to go play tennis with Kippei in the middle of the night; something he wouldn't hesitate to do, except that Kippei was right and staying in bed with Kippei was a much better idea. Even if Shinji was, embarassingly, in his pajamas.

"I think...you need to kiss me some more." He used to watch Kippei kiss Fuji, and it would hurt, like nothing else had ever hurt before. Now, he got to have those kisses and it still sort of hurt but he reminded himself that he was getting those kisses he had wanted so much and he tried to just ignore the ones he had seen before. Fuji didn't exist in Shinji's bed.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

That, Kippei thought, was an excellent idea. He made a soft humming sound of agreement as he made himself comfortable, wrapping himself around Shinji and settling in for a nice, long makeout session, hot and slow and deep, because kissing Shinji made him feel like he was melting all over.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

God yes, kisses and hot and Kippei and perfect, only...Shinji felt spectacularly nervous. This wasn't like random kissing practise with Akira, not at all! This was Kippei and making out and what if he was bad? Akira always got so flustered and panicked, maybe it was because Shinji did it wrong and he didn't want to say? Shinji's brain got stuck on the idea and disracted him from kissing until he was staring at Kippei, a little frown bunching his brows together.

"Am I a bad kisser?" What if Fuji kissed better?

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei blinked at him, a little disoriented by the interruption of what had been, actually, very damn good kissing in his opinion but apparently there was room for some doubt.

"Hell no," he snorted, partly amused and partly incredulous. Then he frowned slightly. "Though I'm not sure I'd care if you were," he said honestly. "Seriously, you think I'm thinking right now, about that or anything else? I'm kissing you, jesus. It's..." He shook his head, speechless. Brain not really working yet, no.

"And if you're still able to think and worry and whatever then I must not be as good as I thought I was," he muttered, and didn't give Shinji a chance to answer before he leaned back down to capture his mouth insistently and ensure that he forgot every damn thing in his head.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Mph!" Shinji forgot his fears for the moment and just wrapped his arms back around Kippei, stroking the back of his neck enthusiastically, sinking into the pillows in a mixture of lust and mindless adoration. Tachibana-san was making out with him. He squirmed a little around Kippei, unconciously rubbing against him, wanting to touch more and be connected more and not let go ever.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei was feeling fairly mindless himself, getting lost in the heat and texture of Shinji's mouth, the small hands stroking the back of his neck making him shudder and melt and shift closer, hardly realizing what he was doing, what they were doing. It just felt right, felt damn good, to move and touch and taste, getting closer and feeling more. His fingers slipped under Shinji's top to find his skin, stroking lightly, and the contact made him let out a soft sigh into the kiss as heat washed up his arm and down to the pit of his stomach. Oh, god, Shinji, and he might have whispered it out loud but he was far beyond the point of noticing.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji felt hot...very, very hot, and found himself gasping a little desperately for air and the ability to think and god, where were Kippei's hands? Need and want fought with desperation and fear as Shinji tried to push Kippei away while still trying to pull him closer, unable to decide if he wanted to stop or get more. Just...more.

"Mmm!" God it felt so damn good! No one had ever touched him like that before and Shinji's brain was just not functioning.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei wasn't sure if Shinji was trying to push him away or not, but he paused anyway, needing air in any case. "You alright?" he asked breathlessly, his hand spanning Shinji's waist and resting there, still and waiting to make sure Shinji was with him and they were on the same page and he wasn't going too fast. They had time. They could take time. Even if he felt like he was going to burst into flames any minute.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Taking a deep breath, Shinji forced himself to think. Was this okay? He was enjoying himself, that was definately true, but the hand on his waist was making his heart thunder in his chest and his skin squirmed a little, not used to it at all and it was sort of nice but at the same time...terrifying. He reached down suddenly and pulled Kippei's hands out from under his shirt, sighing in relief as material fell back down against his skin.

"I...not yet."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei blinked in surprise, and then looked a little chagrined. It had just... felt right, he hadn't thought about it, and yeah maybe he was kind of rushing.

"Sorry," he said, taking a deep breath himself. "I'm sorry." He laid his head down next to Shinji's and carefully put an arm around him, just holding him. He wanted to pull him closer and hold him tight and sort of cuddle him, not that he would use that word but he couldn't think of a better one at the moment, and anyway he had to ask first. "Is this okay?"

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Shinji smiled lazily, because cuddling was definately okay...not that he was admitting to enjoying cuddling. He shifted closer, until he could feel Kippei's nose against his and warm breath on his cheek. "This is more than okay."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei sighed, a little relieved, and gathered him in close, cradling Shinji against him and reaching up to wind the fingers of one hand into his hair. He really liked Shinji's hair.

"Good," he answered, kissing Shinji's forehead and his cheeks and finally his lips, soft touches pressed against his face, just touching and holding on. This was, yeah, pretty good. Really good.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said quietly after a minute, though he wasn't sure that 'scare' was the precise word he was looking for. Startle, maybe, or just pushing for something Shinji wasn't ready for. Whatever it was, he wanted to apologize, really didn't want Shinji to feel uncomfortable with him. As always with Shinji, he would take what he could get.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Not scared, just....feels weird. I'm not used to it." And maybe yeah, a little scared of being the substitute. He flushed a little at the idea and hid against Kippei's shoulder, unable to not smile, just thrilled to have Kippei, in his bed and sleeping over. "I'm really happy you came over."

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

"So am I," Kippei assured him, rubbing his cheek against Shinji's hair, enjoying the soft, silky texture of it. He wanted to ask more, like why Shinji wasn't used to it and who and what and where exactly he had done, but it didn't really matter now, as long as he was here and they were them.

"I missed you," he murmured, even though it hadn't really been that long since he'd seen him. He wished they could do this every night.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji was very happy it was dark and the only light was whatever was coming in from outside, because he was more easily able to hide his goofy grin against Kippei's skin, though Kippei could probably feel it that way, but Shinji didn't care because Kippei was happy he came over and that was what mattered.

"I missed you too. It's not the same when I can't see you every day." But Kippei knew that and complaining was pointless since that was mostly Shinji's fault for refusing to go to school with that monster who hurt Tachibana-san.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei sighed, his breath stirring Shinji's hair, and he absently smoothed it down again, running his fingers through it and then stroking Shinji's cheek with the back of his hand.

"I know," he answered, feeling again the vague (and sometimes not so vague) sense of guilt that haunted him every now and then for choosing a school that damn near everyone in his life disapproved of. It had been a good choice, was a good place, but he still felt somehow disloyal or as if he had deserted when An or Shinji brought it up. "I wish..." But it was pointless saying what he wished, since there was no way for any of it to happen. "I wish I could."

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"It's okay," Shinji mumbled, because it was, even if it wasn't. He could miss Kippei all he wanted. "Just as long as I still get to see you." Because if anyone ever took that away Shinji was pretty sure he would shrivel up like a prune and never talk to anyone, or play tennis again.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Something about the way Shinji said it made Kippei actually think about that, if he never got to see Shinji at all, and his arms tightened automatically around Shinji, pulling him closer. Terrible idea, no Shinji at all. Even when he'd been sure he'd never have more from Shinji than friendship, at least he'd had that and never doubted it. The possibility of having this and somehow losing it didn't bear thinking about.

"Always," he answered, sounding perhaps more determined than the question actually warranted. "Someday..." he paused, not sure how to say it or even if he should. "Someday, it will be every day. Just me and you." He had this dream, one that he'd tried to forget about once, of him and Shinji together, living together and playing tennis and seeing him every single day, because that was how it should be.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

A startled, delighted laugh was muffled in Kippei's shirt before Shinji pulled back and moved, pushing Kippei over onto his back and then lying half on him, pushed up against his side, folding his arms across Kippei's chest and resting his chin on his hands as he looked at the gorgeous face.

"Everyday still won't be enough, you know."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Of course not," Kippei answered patiently, as if this were plainly obvious. "But it will be a damn sight closer than this. Sneaking in to see you in the middle of the night is only fun so many times, and then it just gets frustrating." He already knew that, even if he'd only done it once so far. He could distract himself with the novelty for awhile, but eventually it would come down to the simple truth that he wished he could be with Shinji every night and occasionally sneaking out to do it just wasn't good enough.

"I want you with me all the time," he muttered, restlessly stroking Shinji's hair, less than happy with the prospect of how long it would be until that could actually happen.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Incredulous, not having expected that at all, Shinji couldn't restrain the smile that threatened to break his face.

"Really?" Of course really, he wouldn't have said it if he hadn't meant it. "Then...can I stay at your house sometimes? Although, An-chan will tease me then, but my sisters will tease you too so I suppose its only fair to share the teasing."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei blinked at him, surprised that that was even a question. "I certainly hope so," he answered, his tone betraying how startled he was that Shinji had apparently thought Kippei did not want him staying at his house. An was going to tease them anyway, what difference did it make if they stayed over at his house or Shinji's?

"I need a ladder too," he mused, remembering his thoughts on the subject. "Where did you get yours again? Ishida?"

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Mmm....yeah." Actually that was really embarrassing now that he thought about it. "He was all...Shinji I didn't get you a birthday present, and so I said that I didn't want anything, and he was all oh well I have lots of spare wood in my backyard and I'm good at making stuff, and then I said, well it would be cool to have a ladder so Tachibana-san could climb in my room and so Ishida gave me a ladder, a lock for my window and a porn magazine...." Okay, yeah, embarrassing. "Um...I gave the magazine to Akira."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei started to laugh, surprised again and feeling a strange, tight warmth in his chest, partly pleasure and part regret. How long ago, and he'd never known. They were both idiots. And yet sometimes still, he wasn't sure they should be doing this, wasn't sure that this was okay, couldn't quite believe that something he'd so thoroughly convinced himself was impossible for all kinds of reasons was actually happening. He quickly stifled the laughter in Shinji's hair, then pulled him up to kiss him.

"I wish I had known," he said, but even if he had known... he'd still been Shinji's captain then, and Shinji had been younger and was still younger and Kippei still felt somehow that he was taking advantage of him, even when that was obviously not the case.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"I don't! It would have been embarrassing if you saw Ishida giving me porn!" And yeah he was deliberately misinterpreting because there was something in Kippei's mood that unnerved him and left an uneasiness churning in his gut. He distracted himself by kissing Kippei again and cuddling up against his side, sighing and letting his eyes slide closed.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei chuckled briefly and let it go, not really wanting to discuss the subject any further. He sighed as Shinji snuggled into him, a sigh that turned into a slight yawn as he shifted and got a little more comfortable. Oddly enough he almost felt sleepy now, felt content and no longer restless. He could sleep like this. He thought maybe Shinji was about there too.

"What are you going to tell your folks?" he murmured after a bit, something that only just occurred to him, the slight discomfort of thinking about what might happen in the morning.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"That Tachibana-san used the ladder and stayed over last night and so they cant laugh at me about it anymore, and can mum please make us pancakes for breakfast."

It was, at least to Shinji, the logical answer, which meant it was likely to be logical to at least one of his parents.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei blinked as he digested this, wondering if he was the only person who did not know about the ladder. If he was supposed to use it, why on earth had no one ever told him? He felt slightly disgruntled over this, but whatever, he was using it now and it was his and if anyone laughed at Shinji ever again, Kippei was going to punch them in the face--or maybe just growl at them, if it was one of Shinji's parents.

He didn't think that punching them would be a good way to start off, and if he meant to stick around then he shouldn't make them too mad, or they might not be happy when they figured out that he was planning to keep Shinji for like, ever.

"Pancakes," he muttered. "Okay then."

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

"Mum makes really good pancakes," Shinji mumbled sleepily. "And she draws faces on them with syrup. If she really likes you she'll even draw the seven dwarfs...but she leaves out dopey because Sada owns Dopey."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Faces on pancakes. Sure, why not. "I'd rather have your face," Kippei murmured, shifting further onto his side and pulling Shinji closer. He didn't know if he meant Shinji's face in general, or Shinji's face on his pancakes, or if he just plain wasn't making sense at all, but it was late and he was sleepy and it was all pretty random to begin with, he thought.

[teagoblin.livejournal.com]

Shinji chuckled softly, feeling sleepy and happy and damn delighted.

"I'll be your pancake," he muttered, on the verge of being asleep. "And you can eat me." But later, because he was asleep now and it was warm and snuggly and he had Kippei in bed with him so really, pancakes could definately wait until morning.