en au part three

[shattermelt]

Maybe it was the long day, or the combination of everything; Kippei felt lazy and drowsy and warm with Shinji wrapped around him, and he was sluggish from not having fed in longer than he should, and the release of tension after the last several weeks of driving himself hard only added the fact that he was tired, damn near exhausted really, and he actually fell asleep right beside Shinji, possibly before him. It was pretty late the next day when he found himself stirring back to awareness, in a very quiet room.

His first thought was Shinji, a flash of adrenaline that said he'd been sleeping too long and what if Shinji had changed his mind again, slipped away while he was sleeping?--but no, he was still right here, radiating heat and pulse and life like a beacon. Kippei shook his head at himself for even worrying about it; it was pretty damn certain that if Shinji had gone anywhere, it would have woken him out of this much lighter sleep just the way it had before. Nevertheless he relaxed a bit as he slid his fingers into Shinji's hair, making a content and satisfied noise in the back of his throat. Such gorgeous hair.

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[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji frowned unhappily at being disturbed and wriggled a little under the blankets to get away from poking hands. He cuddled further into the pillow and refused to wake up. It was only the middle of the afternoon; master wouldn't be awake for hours so Shinji didn't have to get up.

"G'way," he murmered, still asleep and annoyed that anyone would dare disturb that. It didn't occur to him to wonder why or who or where...bed was nice and warm and comfy.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei chuckled softly and lifted Shinji's hair out of his way, leaning over to kiss the back of his neck. Sleepy Shinji was still pretty damn sexy, and looking at him made the warm possessive feelings fill Kippei's chest until he thought he might burst, but instead he just grinned, a slow, lazy grin as he ran his hand down Shinji's back, following the graceful arch of his spine.

"How long you going to sleep, beautiful?" he asked, his voice low and dark and amused. He would have thought Shinji would be awake before him, but apparently not.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Gonna sleep forever," Shinji murmered. "Gonna get the goodnight kiss and sleeeeeep..." He yawned and grunted a little grumpily, coming more awake, aware that there was something very, very sexy practically lying on top of him. Confused, Shinji blearily opened his eyes and stared at the dark midnight eyes watching him. Who? ..................

Oh. Oh yeah. He frowned.

"If I'm not allowed to touch you til we get to this house of yours then you're not allowed to touch me."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei grinned at him, a big wide, cocky grin, and leaned up on his elbow. "I never said that," he pointed out. "I said you couldn't get naked with me, there's a difference. Since you are," he checked beneath the covers, "not naked, then I don't see the problem." Minor details, yeah.

"I can still kiss you anytime I want," he added, letting his voice drop to a rough, smoky register as he leaned closer, eyes falling half closed and smirking like he owned the world, which he felt was pretty damn close to the truth.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji watched him grumpily, still sleepy and so not awake but wait, kissing? Yeah that sounded good, okay that was allowed. Shinji closed the gap between them, getting his arms around Kippei and pulling him down. Maybe if they kissed enough Kippei would go back to sleep, but they were in a hotel and they probably had to check out. Damn.

"Does anyone live with you?" He had the sinking feeling the answer was no which made him sad because it meant Kippei had been alone before.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei gave him a slightly puzzled look. Did it matter? Maybe Shinji wanted company, which gave Kippei a flash of irritation--what, like he wasn't good enough company? If Shinji didn't want to be alone with him, that was too bad.

"There's no one else," he grumbled, still bemused as to why Shinji was asking at all.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji finally started waking up, moving to lean up on one elbow to get a better look at Kippei, still frowning. He didnt like that idea at all. What would Kippei do if Shinji went back to see Master? Maybe he would just have to take Kippei with him. That could be good. Master would like Kippei because they were so similar, but not the same.

"Weren't you lonely? No wonder you went to sleep."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei stared at him like Shinji was speaking a foreign language. Lonely? He could not remember ever having felt it, wasn't sure what it was, in fact. Was it something like the way he felt like he was going to die of something, maybe hunger, if he'd somehow managed to fuck this up and never brought Shinji home, never saw him again?

He didn't think sleep was quite the appropriate answer to that. He'd get Shinji back or die trying if he ever lost him, because Shinji was his, plain and simple. But he didn't think he'd ever felt the lack of anything before he'd woken up and discovered Shinji like something he hadn't known he needed.

"I don't remember," he said finally, and that was not entirely true, but it was close enough. He was fast losing all memory of what it had been like to ever not have Shinji at his side.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"You dont seem to remember very much," Shinji noted, frowning. "What do you remember? Did you hit your head or something? I don't think its normal not to remember stuff." He was more than a little worried and his hands unconciously pet Kippei, as if to look for bumps or soothe an invisible hurt.

"You won't forget me will you?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei grinned at him, a slow curl of his mouth, his eyes going dark and heated. "Can't forget you," he said lazily, watching Shinji with a sharp, intense look. He paused, then shrugged. "I remember important things. I don't remember things that don't matter. If it's not important anymore, I don't remember."

Like if he'd ever been lonely before--he wasn't now, and that was important, so it didn't matter if he ever had been before. But he didn't think he had been, because he wasn't even sure he knew what it was. It had never bothered him, being alone. That was just the way it was. Always had been. He hadn't known any different. Maybe now, if he ever had to go back to being alone, he'd know what it meant. He wasn't planning to let that happen, ever, so it didn't matter either.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji shook his head, a little incredulous that Kippei didn't seem to think there was a problem with that, but he wasn't complaining either. Kippei wouldn't forget him and that was all that mattered, so he didn't waste any more time, rolling out of bed with a weary sigh and wandering over to the pile of clothes on the couch, picking out a few things and pulling off his pajama pants to get changed.

"How'd you know what size clothes I wear." Weird.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei looked surprised, and rolled over on his back, propping himself up with his arms behind his head to watch him with interest. "I just know," he said, a bit puzzled. Wasn't it obvious? He'd looked at Shinji, looked at the clothes, and they were the same size, so duh. He'd always been able to tell by looking at something, how it would fit. It hadn't really occurred to him that it was unusual.

"Don't they all fit?" he asked absently, but his voice was rough, a bit strained and he so was not thinking about the conversation anymore, watching with glittering hungry eyes as Shinji stripped down to change. Damn, he was so... perfect. Sexier than hell.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"They all fit perfectly," Shinji mumbled from under a fine mesh cardigan. He shifted, wriggling around until everything was sitting just right, then went hunting for socks and his shoes. He went back to the bed to put them on, smiling as his fingers stroked the leather Akutsu had bought him. He loved those boots madly. He looked aside at Kippei once he was dressed and frowned.

"I thought you wanted to take me home? How come I'm up and dressed and ready to go and you're still all snuggled up in bed?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei cleared his throat, and frowned slightly, looking away. "I got distracted," he muttered discontentedly. Damn, did he ever. Shinji was bewitching, he just turned Kippei's brain off altogether. He pushed himself up and got out of bed, stretching and ignoring Shinji as best he could while he went over and found something to wear, not much caring what it was. A new pair of jeans and a warm shirt, that would work. Then he started stuffing things back into bags, regardless of whether they were his or Shinji's. It wasn't like they wouldn't be able to sort them out later.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji watched Kippei like a hawk, learning him and how he reacted to things and moved and looked at the world, despite the fact it didn't seem to make sense to Shinji. Kippei seemed completely focussed on something Shinji couldn't see, and it was a little annoying really. He straightened the bed and made sure they weren't missing anything...except the dirty clothes he had peeled off Kippei last night, those could stay there in the bin. All clear he wandered over and thread his fingers through Kippei's, holding tight.

"Let's go to your house?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Mmmm," Kippei answered, looking down at him with dark, hooded eyes, his distance caving in on itself now that Shinji was right beside him. Shinji was very hard to ignore. "Yes." But he stayed there, not moving, captured by Shinji's eyes and the way he was looking up at him and fuck. He groaned softly, giving in, and pulled Shinji in for a hard, fierce kiss, pushing one hand into his hair to wrap around the back of his neck, holding him close and licking deep into his mouth, tasting him desperately. Mineminemine, the word echoed in his head, insistent.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Startled, Shinji struggled a little at first, but then realised what was happening and relaxed into it, opening his mouth and letting Kippei's sneaky tongue go wherever it wanted, getting a little of his own back, tasting and feeling Kippei's mouth and it really shouldn't be this good, kissing a dead guy.

"I want more kisses," Shinji murmured when Kippei pulled away. "More like that."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, more like that, a lot more and oh fuck, Shinji was doing it again, that thing where he lit up in all of Kippei's senses, both the natural ones and the undead ones, bright and hot and irresistible and unbearably fascinating. And really he was always like that, but sometimes he flared, impossibly brighter and fiercer and more, and it drove every damn thought out of Kippei's head except the hunger, the need to get close enough to burn, to take and have and devour.

He dropped the bag he'd been holding and turned to haul Shinji into his arms, dragging him tightly against his body and his mouth came down on Shinji's again without a scrap of restraint--or maybe just a tiny scrap, since he somehow managed to not push Shinji's hair back and tilt his head and sink his teeth deep into Shinji's neck, but his hand came up to rest there, thumb stroking firmly over the pulse point and he shuddered hard.

"Want you, want you," he was saying, his voice deep and hoarse and entirely unlike his own, and he didn't even remember when he'd started talking, words half lost, half crushed in Shinji's mouth and repeated kisses.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Startled, Shinji just rested in Kippei's arms, dazed by kisses and wanton words and the desire obvious in all of Kippei's body. Who the hell wanted a pet that badly? Kippei was so weird! But Shinji was drawn in to the little cycle of lust, lips bruised and tingling and hiw whole body aching for something more. The thumb caressing his pulse in his throat made him shiver in anticipation that wasn't answered; no teeth sank in and all of Shinji's skin ached, wanting it.

"Home. Now." He picked up the bag and put it on Kippei's arm. "Go. You said I could have sex today, but not here, so let's go."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei just stared at him for a minute, eyes wide and uncomprehending, because words were so far outside of his mental capacity at the moment. But he did finally remember past the haze in his lust-soaked brain that he'd said not now, not here, later, and it was later but they were still here. He blinked a few times, a little more sanity coming back to his eyes, although a hot, predatory gaze was still fixed on Shinji. He made a quiet rumbling noise of frustration, licking his fangs as if he could taste Shinji there already, but after a moment he turned away, looking down at the bag Shinji had put in his hand. Home, right.

Right now. Kippei mechanically found the other bags they'd ended up with yesterday, loading himself up with all of them. He pointed Shinji toward his phone that he'd left on the small table.

"Call a cab," he said with a quick half-grin, though he was faintly surprised that his voice was working again. "My hands are full." Damn good thing, too.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji laughed and went over, obediently calling a cab, then going and opening the door for Kippei, sneaking one last peek at the very pretty, shiny room. Then he was closing it and skipping past Kippei to open the elevator and letting them both in, hitting the lobby button and racing over almost immediately to hand back the key. Thank you see you later sir our cab is right outside. There is was, waiting and Shinji opened the door and climbed in, trusting Kippei to take care of the bags like he had taken care of everything else. Besides, it was warm in the cab. It definately wasn't warm outside.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei decided that putting the bags down was a not too bright idea, so he climbed in rather awkwardly, still holding everything with grim determination, pushing them ahead of him and resting some on the seat between him and Shinji, just in case, and some on the floor by his feet and those he had to let go of so he could pull the door shut behind him. He frowned at it, then looked up when the driver asked where to. Kippei gave him the name of the place since he had no idea what address it might be, and sat back, looking over at Shinji again almost unwilling, because he couldn't help it. Did he even know how good he looked? He was even sexy when he was all bundled up in a parka, and damn, that was an accomplishment.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Krov'Bessmertnyj. Shinji blinked and looked from Kippei to the driver and back, then curiously started a conversation about it with the driver in Russian. Where was this place, what did it look like, how old was it, was it really haunted? By what and says who and for how long and no one really stays there, they inherited it from relatives...the cab driver wouldn't go past the gates? How funny....

Shinji smiled and sat back, watching the city roll by and it was out on the edges, the city staying away from it for the moment.

"The cab driver thinks your house is scary."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei smirked at him. Of course he did, a vampire lived there, or used to, and people didn't forget things like that, even if they were only rumors or that subtle unsettling effect that vampires tended to have on the humans around them. They might not know why the house was scary, but they damn well knew that it should be.

"It is," he told Shinji, just managing to keep his fangs from showing when he grinned. Kippei was pretty sure it had been at least a hundred years since he'd been here, maybe closer to two, but the house itself (and really, calling it a house was kind of an understatement) was something like three or four centuries old, so that was more than enough time for rumors to take a pretty good hold. He hadn't been the one that built it--he didn't think so--but it had been his for a good long time now and it was more home than any place on earth.

He smirked contemptuously when the driver insisted on stopping at the gate, but it wasn't like he minded. The drive had been paved with stone so it was still relatively clear, although encroaching undergrowth had ensured that it was not nearly as wide as it used to be.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji peeked out the window, then hopped quickly out of the cab, staring wide-eyed and awed. Ooookay, they needed to redefine the word 'house'. Shinji stepped away from the car and pushed open the huge gates, smiling at the loud creak and laughing as he slid on the huge paving stones slicked with ice. It was like stumbling upon the beast's castle. Excited, Shinji checked over his shoulder to see that Kippei was following and started in, careful of his footing and desperate to explore it. So many overgrown gardens and the place was a huge manour and must have ballrooms and passageways and libraries and all sorts of strange things. He wanted in, and he wanted in now. He went back and tugged a little on Kippei's sleeve.

"Hurry up, I wanna see inside."

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

Kippei thought about pointing out that hello, it was not Shinji who was carrying everything, but that would have been disingenuous considering it wasn't like they were that heavy, at least not to him. Not really giving him any trouble. And Shinji wasn't the only one who was in a hurry to get inside.

Still, he grumbled a bit and muttered to himself as he lengthened his stride, covering the ground more quickly and keeping a sharp eye on Shinji once he saw how slick the ground was. He was so not going to fall and break something out here, like his head or maybe his neck because that was so not, not the way they were going to do this.

"You open the door," he told Shinji. "Shouldn't be locked." He wasn't sure it even had a lock, but it wasn't like it needed one.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji nodded and skipped ahead, pushing down on the handle and wincing as there was a huge clunk, but the door gave way and opened and Shinji just stared at the huge foyer. In typical Russian aristocratic style, the foyer was huge with a double way stair directly ahead, the rest of the house down behind it. Shinji had the immediate predicament of wanting to see everything all at the same time, right now this very second thank you please. Only that wasn't possible, so he grabbed one of the bags Kippei was balancing and looked up expectantly.

"Where to?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei actually had to think about that, because when he'd been here before he hadn't used the master suite for sleeping in, and he couldn't remember if there was a bed. While he thought about it he looked around, noting the signs of recent cleaning and feeling vaguely impressed that the cleaning company he'd called to do a rush job on the scary old house had actually done it, though he was pretty sure they had charged him three times their normal rates. Whatever, he had the money.

Especially now, because there was all kinds of things stashed away here, some of it very well hidden, and even if it had been robbed once or several times in the last hundred years, he was willing to bet the reputation of the place had kept most of the thieves and vandals away--and the ones who got in would have left pretty quick. Things should be mostly intact, save for the obvious wear of time. He'd made sure the cleaning job included fresh linens in all the bedrooms and baths, so at least that shouldn't be a problem. He wished vaguely and fleetingly that he could remember better why he'd left, and what he'd done to close the place up behind him, but it was pretty irrelevant now. He had the sneaking suspicion that he was only wondering because he knew Shinji would want to know.

He sighed and finally pointed Shinji up the left stair. "Go up that way and down the hall and take a left. And then a right. There should be a big set of double doors."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji glanced in that direction, checked that Kippei was right with the bags he had, then raced up the stairs and bolted down the hall, following the directions. It was pretty damn hard to miss the double doors, completely ornate and gorgeous and huge but Shinji pushed down on the handles and they swung open soundlessly. There was a huge four poster bed with the dark red curtains drawn around it. The wall was decorated with portraits of Kippei...all in different styles, different centuries. There was a dark mahogany desk along one wall and a massive closet, chest of drawers. It was gorgeous. Shinji dropped his bag and just stared, walking in hesitantly, over to the bed, fingers reaching out to stroke the smooth, well-worn velvet of the drape.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei walked in behind him, not giving more than a cursory glance at the familiar room. Familiar a long time ago maybe, but not that long as he counted it and there was no reason for it to have changed. He walked over to drop the bags in front of a huge wardrobe, wondering absently if any of his old clothing were left inside and rather hoping it wasn't, because Shinji would want him to wear them.

They'd been good clothes at the time, but they were old now and he'd never been interested in being outdated, no matter how old he was. You stayed the same too long and you got all roped into tradition and formality and rules, and he'd always been a rebel.

He turned with interest to watch Shinji's exploration of the room, thinking with satisfaction that it might not be as shiny as the room he'd been making eyes at over in the hotel, but it was every bit as rich, if not quite as ornate, and probably a hell of a lot more expensive, these days. He liked simple, comfortable things, but there was no reason not to spend money when you had it.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji kept spotting little things that could snare his attention for hours. The gilding on the bedhead, the carvings in the bedposts, the print in the gold flake of the frames on the wall, the texture on the paints in the pictures, the groove of the wallpaper, the texture of the rug, the finish on the wood...every bit of it fascinated Shinji and he had to reach out and touch all the little things he saw but everything in the room felt circular and led him back to the velvet drapes. He loved the feel of it and crawled up on the edge of the bed to touch the cushions made of the same material. Perfect and lush and so damn soft. The real old fashioned kind.

"Is this your room? ...obviously. What the hell were you doing in Japan? If I lived here, I'd never want to leave."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei shrugged, uncomfortable with that line of thinking. "I don't know," he said, and it wasn't something he remembered, but he had a feeling that it was because he hadn't wanted to rather than because it wasn't important. Going to ground there hadn't been a choice, it had been a necessity.

"Something bad," he said, and left it at that.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Well, that was easy to believe. Kippei didn't seem the type to do too many nice things, let alone travel several countries away to do said nice things. Shinji shrugged and looked around, as if something else might magically appear, but there was no fridge.

"Is there food? I'm hungry."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei ducked his head, tilting it to look at Shinji through his falling hair. He was hungry too, but he'd pushed it to the background with the distraction of arriving at the house and settling in and Shinji's words brought it to the forefront again like a kick in the gut. Hungry. Hell yeah, he knew about that.

"Probably not," he answered, his voice too quiet, and he didn't move. "You can check in the kitchens if you want." There was nothing here, and he hadn't thought to have anything brought in. Tomorrow, yeah, but tomorrow... was a long way away.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji pondered that. There probably wasn't anything there yet, and what was there was probably years old...a hundred years old even. Gross. Did anything last that long? Baked beans maybe...maybe not. Did they have baked beans a hundred years ago? Probably not. Shinji frowned, trying to think of something to eat but ended up just sighing and flopping back on the bed.

"I wonder if they do delivery here...might have to collect it from the gate. You could eat the driver."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei raised his head then, slowly, deliberately, watching him. "You can call if you want," he answered indifferently. At the moment, even hungry as he was, the idea of feeding on an ordinary human turned his stomach. He knew exactly what he wanted, and it wasn't that.

"I don't want anything else," he said, repeating his words from yesterday, and they were more true now than they were then. After so many hours of Shinji's company, so close to the sight and sound and especially, the scent of him, Kippei could barely think about anything else.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji looked around for a phone and frowned. Kippei wasn't being very helpful. Did he even have a phone? Was it even connected? Probably not. And all Kippei was doing was standing there looking at him like his head just fell off. Shinji actually reached up just to check it hadn't.

"Are you feeling okay? You're acting sort of weird..." He wandered over and placed a hand against the cold skin of Kippei's forehead, frowning, then offering his wrist. "Are you sure you're not hungry? You don't look so good."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei froze, his eyes glittering and fixed on Shinji's face and damn but the human had not single drop of self preservation. Not that this was a bad thing, at all, but what the hell. He could feel a low growl starting in the back of his throat, and made an aborted attempt to reach for Shinji, ending up with his hands resting on Shinji's arms, gripping them tightly.

The problem here was that there was no halfway about it, and once he lost control they were going all the way through this, and he had planned on giving Shinji a little more time to get used to the idea--the whole thing would be a lot easier if he were ready for it and cooperating, but bloody hell. He wasn't making it easy to give him any space, or any time either. Kippei was about two seconds from saying fuck it and throwing him down on the bed.

"I didn't say I wasn't hungry," he said tightly. "Are you making this difficult on purpose? Trying to..." Test something? See when Kippei would snap and just force him into it again, ready or not? Whatever. He shook his head, annoyed with himself, and he should turn around and walk away right now but he could feel Shinji's pulse beating in his veins, under his hands, and he couldn't let go for anything.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"...no?" Shinji just looked at Kippei, confused. "You think its hard to feed? I didn't know that but I guess I haven't seen you eat anything in...hmm I've only known you two days, thats not really that long it feels like a lot longer...actually, its sort of hard to remember stuff from before I met you which is really weird.." Shinji frowned at that and since he didn't think he could get Kippei to let go of his arms any time soon, just walked in to Kippei and wrapped his arms around Kippei as best he could.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei bit off a snarl of frustration, a sound of mingled confusion and anger and pain. He was exhausted, he was starving, Shinji was a walking contradiction in the form of hellish temptation and he'd just walked into Kippei's arms like he had no idea what he was doing, and Kippei was pretty sure he didn't, which was the only reason he had a shred of sanity left. His arms closed around the slender body automatically, nearly crushing Shinji against his chest, holding him hard and fiercely. Crazy beautiful maddening creature and Kippei wanted him so, so badly he was losing his mind, but he was determined to win this time, because he knew he'd lost before.

"Shinji," he gritted out through his teeth, and really it was surprisingly hard to grit your teeth when half of them were long and sharp, but he managed it. "It's not hard at all. Not doing it is hard. You are killing me with your goddamn... fuck, do you even know what you're doing to me?" He paused, trying to regain a bit of coherence. "I can't stop this, Shinji," he informed him in a very quiet, level voice. "This is all or nothing. If I take you now I take everything and--" And he felt suddenly dizzy with it, Shinji burning in his arms, the scent of him filling Kippei's senses and he tore himself away with a sharp, vicious curse and took a step back, almost stumbling. Fuck.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji blinked, startled, a little confused as to how he went from having a nice hard Kippei vampire in his arms to having a snarly mean one a few feet away. Stumped, he thought about it for a full minute.

".....oh." He had told Kippei he hated him. It would really suck to spend the next however long with someone who continuously proclaimed to hate you. That made sense. "Mmm...I still miss Master. Can we go see him? Not right away, but sometime? And can I call him when we get a phone and tell him where I am? I dont want Master to worry." Not that he was sure Akutsu was capable of worry but that was not the point.

"Well...what do you want to do then?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei made a strangled noise of disbelief, and sank to his knees, putting his head in his hands. The dizziness was getting worse, or maybe it was the red haze that covered his vision, the one that said blood and heat and life so close, so close, need want hunger easy easy take it, take it, now. Kippei wasn't stubborn enough for this, he was going to lose again and Shinji was going to hate him and Kippei could live with that, whatever, as long as he was still here, but it was going to make Shinji miserable and for some reason, Kippei didn't want that.

"I don't know," he managed at last, fingers buried into thick dark hair and digging into his skull. "Want you. Want you, everything, that's all I want, and jesus fucking christ, Shinji," he growled suddenly, lifting his head.

"I don't have to wait. You know that? I don't have to give you any time to get used to this idea, I can say fuck you, too bad, this is now." He wasn't making a whole lot of sense, but he was trying. "But you would hate me again and frankly I DON'T GIVE A DAMN if you did, because I'm keeping you anyway, but you, I think, are not the kind that can stand to live with someone you hate for all eternity. And I'm not actually trying to make your life miserable, all right?"

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"....oh." Well, that made sense, and really Kippei didn't look to be doing too good at the whole restraining himself thing. So...think Shinji, think. When Akutsu was feeling bloodlust, he made him go to the main house and then when it got really bad he sent Shinji away. But Kippei wasn't sending him away. Frowning, Shinji tried to think of what to do, fighting against his natural urge to say no way in hell was he leaving; desperately wanting to not be alone but at the same time so not ready to die.

"Don't follow me. I'll come back tonight." And he bolted, out the door and down the hall and down the stairs and into the back of the house. Time to see what there was in the kitchen and then find himself some secret passages to play in.