potg: shinji and kippei

[shattermelt]

Kippei had been trying to tell himself that he wasn't worried when he didn't hear from Shinji for almost a week. He had no idea where Shinji went home to or when he was coming back, and it wasn't that long, really. But Kippei missed him fiercely, which was kind of stupid considering he'd known Shinji for a total of a few days, and he could think about little else on his next two days off but the fact that Shinji wasn't there, and the degree to which that bothered him disturbed him a great deal. Shinji was supposed to be here, which was not only irrational but extremely lame, and the relief that burst inside his chest when Shinji finally called him on Friday night would have knocked him over if he hadn't already been laying down.

"Shinji," he breathed into the phone, so fucking relieved like he'd been afraid Shinji was going to disappear into thin air and never come back again. He told Shinji he'd come see him in the morning, cursing the fact that he was at work, and the six hours left until the end of his shift had never seemed so freaking long. By the time he finally got out of there, he didn't even care that he'd been on for 24 hours and should just go home and sleep. He'd gotten a little more sleep than usual on this shift and he figured that was good enough. He went straight to Shinji's without going home first, though he did change into street clothes before he left the station.

"Shinji," he told the woman at the desk, rolling his eyes internally at the breathless tone in his voice, but he was going to see Shinji again and nothing else mattered. She told him she couldn't give out the room number, but he told her impatiently to just call him and tell him someone was here. He really hoped that Shinji would know it was him; a spark of insane jealousy shot through him at the idea of anyone else coming to see Shinji like this. There wasn't anybody else, he was almost sure of that, but he hated the idea anyway. He paced restlessly through the lobby area while he waited for Shinji to come down.

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[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji was waiting for the call from the desk, already having shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed his wallet. He hadn't even bothered to unpack, having only got in at midnight and sleeping straight after he had called Kippei. He shouldn't have called at one in the morning but Kippei had been at work and maybe he didn't mind so much? Not that Shinji actually cared about anything other than actually getting to hold Kippei's hand again. Shinji took the lift and listened to the floors beep through with cool indifference, finally striding out into the lobby a few steps, far enough to get away from the elevator, and just waiting, because he couldn't see a damn thing; the lobby was filled with early morning light that hurt even behind his glasses. Kippei would find him, unless Kippei got bored waiting for him to get downstairs and left already. That thought made Shinji nervous and he toyed with the hem of his shirt restlessly.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Shinji!" Kippei could feel his face light up like some kind of movie, and he couldn't even stop it, felt like he was beaming like some kind of neon sign and oh fucking well. He strode over and put his arms around Shinji like he'd been waiting to do that forever, hugging him tightly. He was seriously insane. It felt like every fucking thing in his life that had ever been wrong just suddenly clicked into place and nothing could ever be wrong again as long as he was holding Shinji. Stupid.

"I'm glad to see you," he sighed into Shinji's hair, pulling back to give him a quick kiss on the forehead and inspecting him with a slightly worried look. "You okay?" Of course he was okay, idiot, he just got back and there was no fucking reason why he shouldn't be, you worry for nothing cuz you didn't even know how long he was going to be gone. He laughed, a little sheepishly, and brushed Shinji's cheek with fingers of one hand. "I missed you. I was worried..." that you weren't coming back, stupid stupid stupid. So what if he didn't come back, it wasn't the end of the world, right? Ow. Kippei winced as the idea made his chest seize up like he was having a heart attack. Never fucking mind then, maybe it was the end of the world. At least for him.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji damn near jumped out of his skin. He was just standing there waiting and suddenly we he seized in some weird bear-like hug and he didn't relax until Kippei spoke and he recognised his voice, then he breathed and realised he knew the scent and he finally wrapped his arms snug around Kippei's waist, smiling faintly at the warm caress of lips across his forehead, but frowning at the words.

"I'm fine. Do I look like I'm not or something? Why were you worried?" Shinji didn't know what he looked like but he had hoped it was anything other than sick which was how he had felt for the last week.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"You look fine," Kippei assured him, kissing his forehead again because he couldn't help himself. "You look great. I just missed you is all. I didn't know when you were coming back." He laughed in the wry, self-deprecating way that invited Shinji to laugh at him too. He let his hands run up and down Shinji's back, down his arms, stroking and reassuring himself that Shinji was really actually there.

"So, you ready to go?" he asked, anxious to get away from here and away from everyone and have Shinji to himself.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Shinji smiled again, feeling refreshed somehow. He reached out and found Kippei's arm, wrapping both hands tight around it, walking so close there wasn't really a gap between them and not caring what it looked like in the least. He leant up and kissed Kippei's jaw.

"I missed you too." More than Kippei would ever know, Shinji missed him. He had never wanted anything, but he wanted Kippei now.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei felt relieved again somehow to hear that, and held onto Shinji's hand on his arm, squeezing the fingers. "You want to come over to my place today? I didn't really have any plans, I just came here when you called me, but we can do something else if you want." Shinji could at least see his apartment, something that Kippei suddenly really wanted him to do, for some reason that he wasn't thinking about yet.

"Or we can go out later. You want to, uh--" and the sentence broke down because he was trying to remember what kind of date things you were supposed to do when you were like, actually in a relationship, and he sure as hell hoped this was a relationship because it was going to kill him if it wasn't.

"Go to a movie or dinner or something?" he asked doubtfully, because he was pretty sure that was what people did, but Shinji couldn't watch the movie and Kippei had no idea where they'd go for dinner and wasn't that what everyone did? Kind of boring... although he liked the idea of going out in public with Shinji and everyone seeing them together and knowing Shinji was his. Hell yes, he liked that idea a lot.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"No...I mean yes. Or..I mean, yeah...I wanna go to your place, I dont wanna see a movie or anything. I don't want to go anywhere loud." Nothing that could distract him from the exact quality of Kippei's voice was permitted. "Can you cook? I want to eat something you make. I cant cook anything cept pancakes...but I make really good pancakes. I'll make them for breakfast..well, one day." He realised he had damn near invited himself to stay the night at Kippei's house and a slight blush crept over his cheeks but he couldn't help it. He wanted to spend all his time with Kippei and all he would ever get was 72 stinking hours.

"Do you have hot chocolate?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei chuckled. "Yeah. I don't cook so well myself but I'm sure I can manage something for you." Anything for you. He bit down on his cheek to keep from saying that part aloud, surprised that he was even thinking it. Damn but Shinji had gotten under his skin so far, so fast Kippei had never seen it coming until it had already happened.

He looked sideways at Shinji, curious about the blush. Breakfast? "You can stay, you know," he offered suddenly, guessing. "I have tomorrow off too... but I don't know when you're going back."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"The day after tomorrow," Shinji muttered glumly, not wanting to go back at all. Three days wasn't long enough, it just wasn't. But he could stay, so maybe it would be three whole days with Kippei, except he had already lost half a day and Kippei probably had to work the day after tommorrow so really it was only one and a half days, which was only half the time he got here...definately not long enough. He clung a little tighter to Kippei's arm, as if Kippei might suddenly disappear, which was stupid, but still.

"Can I really stay?" He couldn't keep the hopeful tone out of his voice. "I didn't bring my bag or anything, and I dont want to annoy you or anything."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that really shouldn't send a thrill rippling down his spine to kick him in the gut, but it did, because wow. Shinji could stay and he didn't bring anything which meant Shinji would have to borrow some clothes, and the idea of seeing Shinji in his clothes, three sizes too big and so fucking cute just about makes his head explode. Kippei has to clear his throat before he can answer.

"Hell, yeah. I'd keep you if I could," he added, throwing a teasing look at Shinji like he didn't mean it, but oh, god, he did. His hand tightened automatically over Shinji's fingers on his arm, giving him away if Shinji noticed, but maybe he wouldn't. Annoy him? Kippei snorted mentally. Yeah, right.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji frowned at that, glancing up at Kippei. Honestly, Kippei had a few insane moments.

"I'm not a dog you know. You better not try to feed me pet food." But really, in the end he was just trying not to show how much he liked that idea. Having Kippei keep him, and not going back and just staying here. Dying here. In the end he would rather die quickly with Kippei than put up with however long he had left in first realm, but he couldn't tell anyone that. It was just an idea stirring in the back of his head.

"Can you walk to the hotel from your place?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei shot a sideways look at him, ignoring the snark because he was pretty sure it was just that, snark, judging by the rather pleased look on Shinji's face.

"Yeah," he said, "but we're not going to walk." He'd driven over here and he hadn't been able to park as close as he would have liked, but there was his bike and she was beautiful and he was finally going to take Shinji for a ride. Okay, so maybe they wouldn't go home right away after all. He grinned, and bit his lip to keep from whistling.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji paused, frowning while he thought, but in the end he just shook his head, not happy with that at all.

"But I wont know how to find where you live again if I dont walk there." And yeah maybe that was a little stalkerish, but Shinji didn't care. He wanted to be able to walk to Kippei's place from the portal and he couldn't do that if he had never been there.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei laughed and kissed him hard, loving the way Shinji was so obvious about wanting to be with him, and he nuzzled affectionately at Shinji's throat, murmuring against it as he answered, the amusement that was more than half sheer fucking exhilaration that Shinji was here and going home with him still coloring his voice.

"We'll walk sometime. Later even. But not right now, because I wanna take you for a ride." And saying that shouldn't be nearly as hot as it was. Lucky Shinji would be riding behind him and hopefully not notice that Kippei was already half hard--and he really, really hadn't meant for that line to be so far from innocent.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

They could walk later, for now they were going for...a ride? Shinji blinked and blearily looked out his glasses, trying to get something to focus. What did Kippei mean, a ride? That sounded decidedly dirty...But there was a blurry black bulk ahead and Shinji ended up just blinking, walking forward and running a hand over it.

"A bike. I've never been on a motorbike before...We're really riding home on a bike?" He didn't even notice that Kippei's place was suddenly 'home', but then...a stalker wouldn't notice such things.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Mhmmm," Kippei answered, settling his hands on Shinji's hips from behind and leaning in to kiss his neck one last time. He couldn't help it, it was Shinji's fault. He shouldn't smell so good. Just. everything good. Right. Bike, before he got all sidetracked.

"Here," he said, after considering for a moment what the best way to do this was. Shinji had never been on a bike before, and he couldn't see. "Just, take it easy," he murmured, and he lifted Shinji up and set him on the back of the bike, holy fucking christ he was light. Kippei shook his head in wonder and then carefully climbed on in front of him, trying not to disturb Shinji's balance.

"Hang on," he called back over the roar as he started the bike, and dammit, he should have a helmet for Shinji but he didn't usually wear one and his was at home. "Hang on tight," he amended, resigned to going slower than usual and being careful as fucking hell because if he got Shinji killed in a bike accident he was going to murder himself.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Hang on tight? Shinji winced at the loudness of the bike and his arms immediately tightened around Kippei's waist. He buried his face in Kippei's back, having no idea what to do. He vaguely recalled a girl at school talking about a date she went on against her parents wishes and having to lean into the corners and not try to lean the other way. That was all well and good when you could see the corners. Shinji frowned and focussed on Kippei instead. He wasn't just blind now, he was deaf; couldn't hear a thing Kippei would say. Deaf, blind, and dumb since Kippei couldn't hear him either. Well shit. He only had touch, and smell. Kippei's scent helped calm him and he focussed completely on Kippei's body, moulding himself to it, determined to match every movement perfectly. He could do this. He could. His parents had never let him go on a bike before.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei took off slowly, rolling out in a graceful arc and suddenly the bike seemed small and fragile under his hands, instead of big and powerful like it usually did. Suddenly this seemed like the most precarious method of transportation ever, and something was seriously wrong with him because even though his heart was hammering his chest with worry because Shinji was on the back of this thing too, it still thrilled him to be on the edge like this, flirting with danger the way he did every damn day in whatever way he could find--but it had been a long, long time since he'd felt this close to the edge on a bike.

He kept well below the speed limit, feeling Shinji hanging on for dear life behind him, and it made a warm feeling swell up in his chest, knowing that Shinji was counting on Kippei to keep him safe, and he was damn well going to do it. He took it easy all the way home, and he went straight home after all, because if they were going to go joyriding he was definitely going to get Shinji a helmet first.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

There was something about it that nagged at Shinji and made him wonder. He hadn't done it since he was small; hadn't wanted to, couldn't be bothered and now probably couldn't, but this was like that. As close to it as he thought you could get if you were human. It had the same rush; the same flow of air, only buffered by Kippei's body. This riding a bike...

...was just like flying. Shinji clenched his eyes shut and refused to cry, letting the smoke and water scent of Kippei calm him and remind him this was now and he had time to spend with Kippei and he could stay.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei wasn't sure if he was relieved or sorry to be pulling up in front of his apartment, but in the end he supposed it was a good thing so he killed the engine and sighed with just a hint of regret, patting the bike as if to tell her she'd done a good job getting Shinji home safe. Well, here, anyway, it wasn't Shinji's home no matter how much Kippei would like it to be.

The thought hit him between the eyes like a two by four, and Kippei just sat there for a moment, blinking. Did he really just think that? Like he wanted Shinji to... live with him? Wow. Yeah. Yeah he did. Not kind of or maybe or if, but yes. Hell yes. He so hadn't been kidding about wanting to keep him, but it was just now sinking in how much he'd actually meant it. He was a damn fool.

His mouth twisted sardonically and he got off the bike, turning to help Shinji off with as careful a touch as if he handling his mother's china or something. It wasn't like he thought Shinji was going to break, although he did seem kind of... delicate somehow, but it was more that he was something fine and rare and precious that should be treated as such. He left a silent kiss on Shinji's hair and took his hand, leading him up the steps.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji was a little stiff getting off the bike, but mostly because he had no idea what he was getting off onto. He tentatively tapped his shoe on the ground and sighed a little in relief at the solidity of it, following Kippei and letting out a startled little grunt when he stubbed his toe on a step.

"How many steps do you have and how much furniture and have you left stuff on the floor? You're gonna have to tell me stuff you know..." And wasn't that just damn embarrassing.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei stopped, counting the steps as he answered absently, "Nothing much on the floor, I'm never here." One, two, three, four steps and then the landing, then five more steps up to the door. "Four steps," he told Shinji, and pulled Shinji's hand back into the crook of his arm, but he was taller and the height difference made the stairs awkward so after a minute's thought he took Shinji's hand and put it on his waist.

"Hook your fingers in there," he suggested, trying like hell not to think about Shinji's fingers in the waistband of his pants. Bad thoughts. Not allowed, or something. Right. He was taking Shinji to his house, and he was staying the night, and he was so kidding himself if he thought he wasn't going to be thinking about sex for like, the next 24 hours straight.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Four steps. That was pretty easy, especially when he could hold lower. Wait, lower...was that Kippei's belt? Okay, so not allowed to think of pulling the belt off or anything else along those lines. Shinji focussed on the steps instead, tentatively following the directions into Kippei's house. God, he was going inside Kippei's house! He could make out the blurry shapes of things and he liked the feel of it. Actually, he hadn't seen anything that well in a long time, it was sort of eerie.

"I like it here. It feels good. And it's quiet. I like quiet places." He went further in, looking around and slowly reaching up to take the glasses off, putting them down on the coffee table. This was Kippei's house.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei watched him moving around, watched Shinji moving into his house, moving in god he wished it was that, watching with sudden sickening wrench in his stomach that said, home, home, this is home now, just because Shinji was here but it wasn't because he was leaving again, all too soon, and the thought left a taste in his mouth like dust and ashes.

"Yeah, well, it's not much," he said awkwardly, looking around himself like he was seeing the place for the first time, and yeah, it was small but it would be plenty big enough for the two of them and he suddenly wanted that so damn bad he couldn't breathe. He shook his head and crossed silently over to where Shinji was standing, tipping his head back to look into those beautiful grey eyes, leaning down to leave a soft, lingering kiss on his lips like an apology. I want you to stay. I don't want you to ever leave again. How damn selfish was that?

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji was too startled to even close his eyes because he could have sworn that for the briefest moment, when Kippei tilted his head back and was leaning down to kiss him, Shinji had seen him. Knew exactly what he looked like, not just a blurry faceless mass but an actual face with dark blue eyes and dark hair and strong bones and god he was seeing things, he must be because it was gone, just like that and the kiss was too soft it damn near hurt coming with the sudden awareness, regardless of how it happened, that he now knew Kippei was just as sexy as his damn voice.

"It's perfect," he murmered, not bothering to add the 'like you' on the end.