tp5: kippei and shinji

[shattermelt]

It had been early that morning when Kippei left, carefully untangling himself, though it had been hard, not to just stay and there and hold Shinji for like, the whole day if he could get away with it. But he couldn't, not this time, so he got a sleepy kiss when Shinji woke up a little bit, and went to work. Today of all days he wished he had time to just stay home and spend time with Shinji, but Shinji had to work too and really, he should not be taking time off right now anyway.

Still, he'd been wanting an excuse to visit Brown for awhile now; going to the Angel wasn't quite the thing, since it was so close to the shuttle station there really wasn't much to see. He had little other business down in that part of the station, however, and if he were just hanging around without a purpose, someone was sure to notice. About halfway through his morning these two problems began putting themselves together in his mind, and he went and looked up the maintenance schedule for today, to find out firstly, where Shinji was working, and secondly, when he had a lunch break.

He felt much better after that, and was almost pleasant to his staff, to the point that several of them asked if he was feeling all right. He said yes of course, and sent them back to work, and then about twenty minutes before Shinji's scheduled break he went to get takeout from a cafe he liked, and made his way down to Brown to find Shinji.

Comments

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji finished the first half of his shift and signed out. He was tired, his muscles were cramping like crazy and he was hungry as all hell. Kippei had left when he was still half asleep that morning and all Shinji remembered was a vague half coherant kiss. Damn it, they were meant to be 'angry' at each other this morning and maybe he could have convinced Kippei to stay home for 'make up' sex. Ah well. He wandered out from the maintenance corridor and headed for Ina's, figuring if nothing else he could beg a sandwich and a massage before heading back.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei was almost too late to catch him, as Shinji had already left by the time he got there, and he had to ask someone where he'd gone. They pointed him in the direction of the Angel, and he headed that way even as he wondered if this weren't such a good idea after all... maybe he should let Shinji go see Inanna and take his own lunch elsewhere, but he didn't really want to and by the time he had finished thinking it he could see Shinji ahead of him and then it was much too late to be thinking about leaving.

"Shinji!" he called, not really caring who heard him, hurrying to catch up before Shinji disappeared again. "You left," he complained, as if he had told Shinji that he was coming.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji turned immediately, stunned and wondering if he was hearing things but no, there was Kippei and he strode over to meet him, taking him in, wondering if maybe he was hurt or something, but he looked fine. He even had lunch. Lunch for two. Oh. Wow.

"You brought lunch?" A nervously delighted smile spread on his face and his mind was already trying to think of private little places they could eat, but really...only one was good enough. He grabbed Kippei's sleeve and headed for his old place.

"I can't believe you came down here for lunch, that's so cool...you're not going to get in trouble for getting back to work late or anything right? How long do you have? Wait...did you check up on me to see when I got off? God, you're such a sap..." He grinned and leant up to lick at Kippei's mouth. "Can I just eat you for lunch?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei chuckled, relieved, because he hadn't actually been sure that Shinji would be glad to see him. He wouldn't mind at all if Shinji ate him for lunch, come to that, but he should eat food first. Kippei handed him the lunch so he could see what was in it while they walked.

"I won't get in trouble," he assured Shinji with a lazy grin. In fact he'd told his assistant that he was running an errand in Brown after lunch and he'd be back when he was back. He couldn't take the whole day, of course, but he had a good couple of hours before anyone would wonder where he was. He shrugged a bit awkwardly. "I didn't know what you'd want, so I just got something I liked for you."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Curious, Shinji peeked inside the box, inhaling and sighing happily. He had no idea what that was but fuck it smelt good. It reminded Shinji of just how damn hungry he was and he picked up the pace, ordering the door open when he was still a good twenty meters away. He ran inside, grabbed a couple of sporks and plonked himself down in one of his beanbags enthusiastically, grabbing Kippei and pulling him down half in his lap, half at his side, digging in.

"Oh god, I love you so damn much...this is incredible!" Of course, right then he would have been likely to say that about anthing.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei was laughing as he took his seat, managing not to lose his balance and spill himself and Shinji both onto the floor. Shinji must have been very hungry. Kippei grinned, pleased with himself, and kissed Shinji's temple before he retrieved his own lunch and started eating.

"So, this was a good idea, then?" he asked, with just the slightest bit of apprehension behind his grin. It occurred to him now that maybe he should have asked Shinji first, if he would mind or if it was convenient or even, if it was okay. Shinji had seemed a bit uncomfortable with having him here before.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Mmm...it was ingenius," Shinji muttered between mouthfuls, then thought about it seriously. "I wouldn't want...I mean, if I was still at work, maybe...not. I mean, they guys, they pick on everyone about everything and that's fine, but...I don't want that. I don't think I could just stand there and take it, if they were being like that about you. So...not when I'm at work. I still haven't lived down you coming and hauling my arse out during the reactor leak you know." He pulled a face but didn't get much further than that, still scoffing down his food.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei blinked, having never considered that. "You got in trouble for that?" he asked, trying to remember what had happened exactly. Shinji had been off duty at the time anyway, so it wasn't like he couldn't have left.

He fell silent, eating some more while he thought about it. "You were pretty mad about that," he realized, wondering why Shinji hadn't punched him that time.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"You were confusing the hell out of me. You pushed me away constantly and acted like I was the scum of the earth then you just came barging in and hauled my arse to your place without so much as a by your leave. The guys thought it was the funniest thing ever. Hell, you threatened to carry me kicking and screaming! They still ask when my boyfriend is going to come and haul me off for lockerroom sex...apparently someone installed a camera." He shook his head and sighed. "It sucked thinking you didn't like me at all. I even went and begged Ina to teach me to kiss properly because you didn't like it."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei shot him a very startled look. "You thought... I didn't like it?"

It was very strange, hearing Shinji's side of the story, what it had looked like from the outside. He hadn't thought about that, what Shinji would think. "I didn't mean to confuse you. I was... confused too," he admitted.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Mmm...well, you did push me away every time I tried to kiss you." He smirked though, leaning over to kiss Kippei now, tasting both their lunches and that unique taste that was just Kippei. "But I loved kissing you so I did it anyway."

He wondered what it had been like, for Kippei, to have this annoying brat constantly trying to get into his pants every time they accidentally ran into each other and not being able to say no because he was Sada's legal guardian.

"I'm sorry, if I was annoying, but I'm not sorry for anything that happened."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei stared at him, still tasting the kiss, licking his lips. "It wasn't annoying," he said slowly. "I was just frustrated because I couldn't... let you. You were... I never met anybody like you, anyone that I really wanted like that. It wasn't safe." He shook his head, amazed that Shinji could still think he'd been annoyed by it.

"I'm not sorry either... I'm just sorry I almost had to lose you before I realized that would be worse than anything else."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Lose me?" Shinji blinked, then remembered. "Oh. The accident? But I wasn't going to die or anything. I mean, it was just an accident and a dumb one at that. If they ever pair me up with that clumsy retard again I swear I'll deck him..." Shinji went off into a long rant between mouthfuls about idiots who somehow got hired for jobs they weren't trained for.

"Honestly," he noted while licking his container clean. "I would almost prefer working with rikkai's than working with retards."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"You could have died," Kippei murmured, pretending to pay attention to his lunch again. He still remembered coming home to Inanna's frantic messages and the feeling of blind terror when he thought he might not get there in time, that it might not matter, that Shinji might be dying and he would have lost any chance he had.

"You scared me half to death."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"No I.." He thought about it then, which he hadn't actually done. "...oh. Huh. Well, that woulda sucked." He stared at the wall for a moment, wondering why that little thought didn't occurr to him before. Odd.

"Mmm...well, if its the only thing that made you come see me I'm glad. Even if I did think I was hallucinating."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei laughed, a little unsteadily, and put down his lunch to pull Shinji into his arms, holding him tight and kissing him fiercely.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm sorry for all of it." It amused him in a wry sort of way that Shinji had thought he was a hallucination, but he was sorry for that, too. "I just never thought... there would be anyone like that for me, that I could have someone like you." He sighed, wondering if Shinji was going to hit him again for saying this. "I still think you could do so much better," he muttered.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"I'm not, because it gave me you." Shinji caressed Kippei's cheek with his thumb and smiled. "You can have me for forever, no matter what you thought before, or now. I can't do any better than you, because to me you're absolutely perfect and I never want anyone else. So ner."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei sighed. "I'm perfect, am I?" He was quiet for a minute, stroking Shinji's hair and thinking. Did he want to bring this up now? Definitely yes, and if Shinji didn't want to talk about it he had a good excuse to leave, so he might as well. He wasn't going to get a better opening than that.

"So, the other night, when you got all mad at me, that's because I'm perfect too? And even though I'm perfect, you're refusing to have sex with me at all until... I don't know what." He shook his head, leaning back on the soft cushiony seat and rubbing his face with his hands. "I just don't understand, and I don't know what you want." I don't know how to fix it.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"Yes, because you're perfect. I never want to hurt you, or disappoint you. I don't want to be one of those people...one of the ones who hurt you. I never want to be one of them. I just want to do it right and it makes me nervous and then I dont want to do anything in case I do it wrong. Its like...a machine. I don't build anything without knowing its gonna work, yanno?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei looked over at him, just shaking his head. He wished one more time that this had never come up, but that was pointless and foolish. He sighed deeply, laying back and staring at the ceiling.

"Shinji, I know you would never be like that," he said wearily, again, because he was sure he'd said this before but maybe Shinji had been too upset to listen. "You would do it right, you'd do it just fine and you wouldn't hurt me at all. I know that. Before... those times... it was supposed to hurt, that was the whole idea. I wouldn't ask you to do that and I don't think you ever would. You want to make love to me, you said--well that's totally not the same thing at all. That's not supposed to hurt. Trust me on this, okay? There is no possible way for you to hurt me like that by accident. And even if there was and somehow you did, I would tell you."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"....Promise?" He never wanted to hurt Kippei, ever. If he did, he was sure it would kill him. It would be the one thing he could never convince himself for.

"I really want to though...you make me so damn...horny." There really was no other word for it. "I never wanted to make love so damn bad, ever. Before it sort of just happened but with you, I just want to...all the damn time. God, Ina was right...it turns me into a pervert."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei snorted with amusement. "Likewise," he murmured, rolling over and pulling Shinji down beside him, kissing his hair. "I never wanted to either, before you, not like this. It was just something people did. But you make me want to all the time, and I want you to want to and I swear I won't let you hurt me."

As if he could, and Kippei was still amused by this idea. It wasn't supposed to hurt, but it could, if you wanted it to. Back then, it had been what he needed, but he didn't need that anymore. Not with Shinji.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji relaxed and just enjoyed getting to lie around lazily with Kippei in the scungyness of his old apartment. He couldn't help smiling because Kippei wanted to screw him senseless all the time too and that made him feel a little less pervy about it.

"So we can do it when we get home tonight?"

[flamesword.livejournal.com]

"Hell yes," Kippei told him, tilting Shinji's face up to kiss him properly, taking his time since he wanted to make the most of whatever minutes Shinji had left on his lunch break.