TP5 log: Kippei and Shinji

[shattermelt]

(because i like that expression XD)


Kippei was not at all convinced that an escort was necessary. He was, in fact, quite drunk, but not so drunk that he couldn't walk. He wasn't entirely sure that he could walk straight, but he could walk. Even when he was drunk he generally didn't get terribly uncoordinated. Really, an escort of one of Ina's bodyguard's wasn't necessary at all.

Inanna wouldn't take no for an answer, however, and in the end it was easier to just leave and let the man follow him. Kippei could pretend he wasn't there. He was fairly unobtrusive for such a big man, and by the time Kippei got home he had almost forgotten about him.

By that time, also, he was starting to worry about what Shinji was going to say. It wasn't terribly late, but it was a good deal later than he usually came home from work, and it was quite early in the evening for anyone to be so drunk. He wasn't entirely sure how he was going to explain this. He didn't think he wanted to tell Shinji exactly where he'd been or what he'd been doing. At least not yet.

Comments

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji couldn't begin to say why exactly he was sitting in the hallway, not a soul in sight, but it just didn't feel right to be in Kippei's rooms without Kippei. They were awesome, true, but only when Kippei was in them, or he knew Kippei was going to be in them. Otherwise, frankly, he would rather be in Brown, where he had spent most of the day, rushing back just before he knew Kippei would get off work only to sit and wait...for a damn long time. He had contemplated going to get something to eat but didn't want to miss Kippei, so now he was hungry. After about seven hours he'd gone outside, wandering the hall a little, wondering if Kippei got mugged or something, but people didn't get mugged in this part of the station. Shinji sat down by the door, worried as all hell, that Kippei was injured somewhere, or that he just wasn't coming home tonight and hadn't bothered to tell him, or worse...that he didn't want to tell him. That maybe he was sick of him and this was the silent treatment in the hopes of Shinjio leaving. He had almost convinced himself to go back to his old apartment in brown when he heard a familiar set of heavy footfalls clomping down the hallway. That weirdo Ina hired. Shinji would recognise him anywhere. And there was Kippei, looking a little odd. Shinji didn't say anything, just watched. Surely Ina's bodyguard wasn't here for...services? Wait...Kippei had been at Ina's?

Shinji was immediately, blindingly furious.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei almost didn't see him. Shinji was sitting outside? He frowned slightly as he got closer. Why was he sitting in the hall? He couldn't be locked out. Even if Kippei hadn't given him a code to get in, which he had, Kippei knew for damn certain that Shinji could get into any place on this station if he wanted to, locks or no locks. Hell, he'd designed this security system, which briefly made Kippei feel warm inside when he remembered it. He put it down to the alcohol.

"What are you doing out here? Why aren't you inside?" he asked when he reached the door, a puzzled expression in his face and voice. At least his voice was steady and clear enough, if rather slower than usual. Shinji looked... pretty upset. Damn. Kippei should have warned him he was going to be late today.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"I felt like wasting my time," Shinji ground out between clenched teeth. "So I decided to wait here and escort you and your friend into the bedroom." Shinji bowed sarcastically as he hit the key pad to open the door, not bothering with the verbal prompt. "Would you like me to make you dinner, or are you going straight to it?" He was a little startled by the venom in his voice. Kippei had gone and gotten himself thoroughly smashed, at a whorehouse, and brought back something to screw. Talk about getting the wrong idea about a guy. Shinji intended to go home, and lock the fucking door, and build a whole fucking ship until he finished it or died from exhaustion. He sure as hell wasn't staying to watch.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei just stared at him. "What?" For Shinji to be angry because he was late or he was drunk or both, he had expected. He had no idea what he was on about now. It took him a minute to replay the words in his mind, and he remembered the presence of the bodyguard behind him. Kippei wasn't sure if he was more amused or really kind of irritated. What the hell did Shinji think he was, anyway? He shook his head, brief frustration flitting over his face.

"Are you out of your mind? I'm not... you're not... jesus christ, you are insane." He turned and looked over his shoulder, throwing a very annoyed look at his shadow. Damn Inanna and her stupid overprotective notions anyway. "You can leave now," he growled. "I'm here, I'm fine, you can tell her I didn't trip over my own feet. And if Shinji kills me she's paying for the funeral." He looked back to Shinji, ignoring the man behind him as he left on feet that were entirely too quiet for such a big man.

"Firstly, for the record I am not, ever, going to bed with anyone who isn't you. Secondly, get the hell inside already because I am not having this conversation in the hall." He'd prefer not to have it when he was drunk, either, but it was too late now, and maybe that was a good thing. It did mean talking came easier, about most things.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Kippei was mad? Kippei was mad! God, the gall! So what if he didn't intend on sleeping with the bodyguard moron, that paled in comparison to thoughts of Kippei sleeping with Ina. He pushed Kippei through the door, more a shove than anything else, and backed him right up into the kitchen bench, then just stared at him. He wanted to slog him, and on the other hand he wanted to snog him senseless.

"You...you slept with Ina?" He looked incredulous, stunned even now that he thought about it. "Ina slept with you?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"No!" Well, not today anyway. What the hell? Kippei couldn't believe Shinji actually thought he went out and slept with someone--anyone--else. Why would he ever want to?

"I didn't sleep with anyone," he clarified, almost snarling in frustration. "What the hell is the matter with you? You cannot seriously think that I would just... just. what the fuck." His brain was clearing now, out of sheer necessity and no small amount of shock. He felt like Shinji had gone ahead and slugged him one like he looked like he wanted to.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

"What the hell am I supposed to think? You just got escorted home, eight hours after I know you finished work, from the Angel!" Shinji was livid, but he was also confused as all hell because it didn't seem to matter how good he thought it would be to hit Kippei right now, he couldn't seem to bring himself to actually go anywhere near him.

"What's the matter with me?" Shinji repeated the question and thought about it, shocked by the answer. I'm in love with you. "I'm insane, remember?" Shinji growled out, marching around Kippei to the bedroom, finding his backpack, which had some of the parts he needed for the system he was trying to build, and headed for the door. "Sleep with whoever the hell you want."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Oh, hell no. Kippei shot up off the bench and threw himself between Shinji and the door, giving the command to lock it just for good measure. At least it might slow him down. "This conversation is not over," he growled. Eight hours? He didn't think it was that long. Six, maybe.

"Jesus. I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I want you, I've always wanted you, that's--" whoa. A little too angry and a little too much alcohol, and he was going to say something he shouldn't. He at least had to warn Inanna before he said something like, that's the whole reason I ever slept with her in the first place. He shook his head, frustrated. "I was talking to Inanna. Just talking, that's all. I was at the Angel because that's where she lives. Are you sure it was eight hours?" he added as an afterthought. It couldn't have been that long, surely.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

He locked the door. The bastard locked him in! Shinji gaped a little, incredulous. Was that even legal? Not that anyone would argue with the Ambassador of Fudomine locking up one of his own people, but that was so not the point!

"No I'm not sure but I know it was seven last time I looked at my watch!" He looked down again now and blinked. "So its six, whatever!" He couldn't believe he had misread his watch, but he had been worried. And now he was angry. Damnit. Why was he that worried when it wasn't even late? He didn't need to stick a collar on the guy, maybe he really was insane. It wasnt even 9.

"Who the hell gets plastered before ten?" Kippei Tachibana apparently. Fuck! Frustrated as hell, Shinji shoved Kippei out of the way again and flicked open the door panel, flicking a switch on the security system and smirking proudly as he gave it his voice printed commands.

"System, open and lock immediately when I leave."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"Shinji!" Fuck it, he wasn't even listening to a word Kippei was saying. Or didn't care, or something. Kippei was not letting him walk out of here like this. He might never come back. He'd done that once before.

Kippei grabbed his arm, not particularly caring at the moment if he left bruises so long as Shinji didn't leave. "You stubborn... god, and you think I'm a stubborn bastard." He was actually angry now, and he didn't want to be angry with Shinji but dammit, how the hell could he think that... "I can't believe you think I would cheat on you. As for why I am, as you put it, plastered--" Goddammit. Kippei deflated abruptly, the afternoon and the alcohol and the hurt on top of hurt all catching up with him.

"Never mind," he said tiredly. He let go of Shinji and rubbed his face, feeling the ache behind his eyes. "Just...god, never mind. Just go then. If you think I can break a promise, apparently you don't care about keeping yours either." Nothing had ever hurt this bad, nothing. Never yet, not even when he thought he'd lost Shinji before, nothing had ever hurt like standing here watching Shinji walk away from him, but he was going to do just that because Shinji was leaving, he didn't want to stay, and Kippei was going to watch him for as long as he could no matter how much it hurt.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

That sudden deflation and the hurt in Kippei's face made Shinji even angrier. He just stood there, shaking, uncomprehending. He hadn't slept with Ina...that was good. But he'd spilled his guts to her, and obviously had no intention of sharing. Why didn't he just go do it then if he liked her so much? God, he wasn't thinking straight at all. Kippei was hurting and he should ask him what was wrong and be kinder, and stop fighting and curl up on the couch and hug him, hold on until that odd look went away. But there was something else, that made him madder than everything. Before he knew it his fist was collecting with Kippei's jaw and his knuckles exploded with pain. He had the vague thought that maybe Kippei's jaw was made from steel, but then he was striding past Kippei and into the bedroom, throwing his bag at the wall and glaring over his shoulder.

"I keep my fucking word, and I fight for what I want."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Fuck. Why was he drunk? Kippei was fairly certain this whole mess would be making a lot more sense if he weren't--but then again, it would probably hurt just that much more. He couldn't even feel relieved that Shinji seemed to have changed his mind about staying, and he rubbed his jaw, wincing. For someone who appeared to be something like half his weight, Shinji was damn strong. That hurt, Everything hurt. He was so damn tired, he didn't even have the energy left to fight like Shinji said he was going to, or even to be angry anymore, and that was the only thing that could keep him from feeling this much pain and this whole day had been a mistake. He was going to have to tell Shinji why he was talking to Inanna, now, and jesus god he did not want to tell that story again. Kippei sat down on the bench Shinji had shoved him at earlier and put his head in his hands. That hurt, too.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji glared at him in frustration. It annoyed him, that Kippei was weak in some way, but at the same time he felt shaken to the core that Kippei would let him see it. Wearily he kicked off his shoes and dropped his jacket on the floor before wanderig out to the main room again, staring at the open door.

"System, close the door." He waited until it slid shut, then wandered over to Kippei and very tentatively wrapped his fingers around one of Kippei's hands, tugging gently. Whatever the hell he had spoken to Ina about had obviously been a doozy; enough to get Tachibana plastered in the telling of it. Shinji was in no mood to listen to it, and it didn't look like Kippei wanted to tell it either, so Shinji just led him through to the bedroom and pushed him down onto the bed, kneeling down to get his shoes off, then resting his arms and forehead on Kippei's knees.

Fuck, he'd hit Kippei. And his hand was killing him. Damn it. He had hit Kippei and it wasn't just his hand throbbing.

"I'm sorry." He realised, rather belatedly, that he had probably just insulted Kippei in every way possible, and topped it off by slogging him.

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Kippei felt blank now, overloaded on pain to the point that he was past it, and there was just nothing at all. He let Shinji pull him into the other room, and sat silently while Shinji dealt with his shoes. Slowly it registered that Shinji was... was... apologizing? He was still mad. Kippei could tell he was still mad, or upset, or something. But he was here, and he was sorry.

Kippei shook his head, trying to shake off the feeling of blankness and lethargy. He remembered this feeling, from after that last time with Inanna, a cottony sort of whiteness that blocked everything else out, but he didn't have time for that right now. Shinji looked miserable too. Kippei reached gently, almost hesitantly, to stroke through Shinji's hair with his fingers.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, sounding exhausted. It was an effort just to get his lips to form the words. "I'm sorry too. I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but please just don't leave."

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji shook his head, trying hard not to yell again and frowning instead. He pushed Kippei back onto the bed, tugging the sheet up over him and leaning over to kiss his temple, the arch above an eye, his cheekbone, his ear...anything he could get to that might take that horrible emptiness out of Kippei's face.

"I don't want to hear it right now. You...if you don't want me to leave, then next time stop me. Not that there will actually be a next time, but if you want something you should try and hold onto it, no matter what I think.." It was the only reason he was still here. "Though, next time you could make your jaw a bit softer." He flexed his fingers painfully and sighed, wondering if he'd actually done some sort of damage. Note to self no hitting the man of steel.

"You really didn't...I mean...you seem to think I shouldn't think you would, but you're human you know and guys do that. Lots of guys sleep with Ina, because she's gorgeous and likes it and wants your money. But...you didn't?"

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

"No." The word was firm and definite, because even if he did tell Shinji about the other times, that was a whole separate issue and definitely would keep for another day. "I wouldn't. I keep my word too. I promised, I said I was yours, Shinji." He sounded puzzled, because he really didn't get how Shinji could not understand this. "That means all yours, heart body and soul. Nobody else ever."

He was a bit relieved Shinji didn't want to hear the story right now--he didn't think he could tell it again today anyway. "I'll tell you. I told her because she asked. But like I told her, it requires alcohol. A hell of a lot of it. I didn't mean to be so late. I didn't realize what time it was. I'm sorry. And if there is a next time..." He paused, shaking his head slowly, fingers still absently stroking Shinji's hair.

"I want to keep you," he said softly. "I want that more than anything. But I don't want a slave. If you don't want to be here, if you don't want to stay, then it's worthless. It hurts worse than you leaving to think you only stay because I forced you to. I would have... tried to talk to you again. I won't give up on you, no matter what. But tonight... jesus. Tonight it was just too much, and if you wanted to go, I couldn't stop you. Everything hurts too much already," he added in a whisper, half to himself.

[ayretala.livejournal.com]

Shinji shook his head a little, of all things a little amused by the apparent miscommunication, which was entirely his fault. He really had to stop jumping to conclusions when it came to Kippei. The guy really was kind of perfect. Shinji squirmed around until he got around the blankets and could get a leg over Kippei, leaning over Kippei, just looking. God he was drunk, and he was cute as all hell and sort of befuddled...if he hadn't gone off at him they could have been making out pretty damn well.

"I'm already your slave where it matters," Shinji murmered, voice quiet, like it was a secret. "I want you to keep me." He leant down, kissing Kippei, trying to talk like he did, with actions and not stupid useless words, but words were what he was used to. "I want to keep you. I want you to be mine and no one else's. Not even Ina's."

[shattermelt.livejournal.com]

Feeling relief start to steal through him finally, Kippei relaxed, letting his arms slip around Shinji to hold him. Oh, god what a day. He still felt a little stunned, as if he'd been hit too many times in the head. Too many things, too many emotions, too much. All too much.

He felt almost shaky in the aftermath, as if he were in shock--he thought absently that he probably was. But it was over and Shinji was here and he could finally sleep. The relief was enough to make him shiver slightly, and his eyes were insistently drifting closed.

"Yours, no one else's," he promised, a soft drowsy slurred murmur as he drifted off to sleep. I'm already your slave, too.