reforged sword

"We don't even know what they're doing," Kippei told him, as patiently as he could manage. "They might not even be here, they don't have to be here to destroy it. It's going to be gone before we could do anything. Unless you want to make a preemptive strike and take out their entire school, not that I wouldn't like to, but it's possible that even that wouldn't stop them. We don't know. What I do know is that I need you more than you need your room, so you are not going anywhere."

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"You dont understand!" Shinji muttered darkly. "Its quiet, and its my room, and I wont let them have it. Just because you dont know something doesnt mean you shouldn't try. I didnt know you would like me but I still tried. And I didn't know the room would work but I tried. Trying is important, so let me try!" He tried yanking his hands free again, hard yanks that did nothing to dislodge and only hurt his wrists, making him glare harder, more sullenly.

"Why are you doing this?"

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"Trying is important but there's nothing you can do!" Kippei growled at him in exasperation. "You're going to get yourself killed and there is no way I'm letting you do it. You think just sitting there means they won't do it? You can't stop them! That's why they bothered to warn people, so they can say it wasn't their fault if someone died. I don't mind dying with you but I'd prefer it to be a good fifty years away yet."

He wished Shinji would just stop fighting him, because it was going to be very awkward and not all that comfortable if he had to sit here holding him down until whatever was going to happen happened.

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This wasn't getting him anywhere. Shinji slowly stopped struggling, thinking about it until he was completely still, and then taking a few good deep, long breaths. This was Kippei. He shouldn't be arguing with Kippei. But the guy was sitting on him, so Shinji thought he had a valid excuse.

"Why arent you doing anything?"

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"I am doing something," Kippei said flatly. "I'm saving your fucking life, and mine incidentally. What do you want me to do? If you have an idea that doesn't involve just sitting there and waiting to die, lets hear it. But being a fucking martyr is a really damn pointless way to go. You'd die for nothing. NOTHING, okay?" He sat back, warily releasing Shinji's hands, ready to grab them again if Shinji decided to change his mind about fighting again.

"Those buildings are pretty indefensible, especially if we don't know what kind of attack or where or when it's coming. We don't have defensive training anyway. There's nothing we can do. We can rebuild them, but if you're dead, you're dead, and then it won't matter, will it?"

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Rebuild it. How long would that take? And why wasn't Sakaki doing anything, he had to have heard by now. It was like he was just letting them come; letting them destroy the quiet room. A furious yell bled past Shinji's lips and he swung at Kippei, fist connecting with his jaw. It fucking hurt, but that was okay. He stared at his red knuckled and it just seemed to be another thing to be mad about.

"It isnt nothing to me."

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"If you die it will be," Kippei retorted, turning his head back and pretending not to notice the blow to his jaw, save for the additional grimness in his expression. "It isn't going to help anything or do anything if you die for it. It's not going to change anything, except that you'll be dead. You think they're going to be sorry? They won't give a damn. I'm the one that will care, and you sure as hell aren't going to do anything for me if you're dead. Then we'll both be dead and the room will still be gone and you won't have done anything to stop them. You won't have a chance to get them back. You'll have nothing. I hope you believe in life after death, because I..." he stopped, shaking his head, and looked away. Trying to argue with him wasn't going to work. Shinji was too out of his mind, panicking right now. Both of them panicking wasn't going to help.

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Annoying, annoying, annoying. Shinji couldn't get past the block in his head that was screaming to do something; to save the quiet room. And yet at the same time he was very much aware he had just hit Kippei, hard, and his hand was throbbing along with every other part of his self that had recently battled against Kippei, and he was hurting Kippei; was not only risking his own life but Kippei's as well, something he could not maintain for any period of time. He could scarcely believe he was doing it at all.

"...I'm sorry. It's my room though...I need that room, Kippei. God, I'm so sorry, but I want it."

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"I know." Kippei sighed heavily, rubbing his face with his hands. Absently, he noted he was probably going to have a bruise where Shinji hit him, not that it mattered. More problematic was the fact that Shinji was freaking out and Kippei couldn't help him.

He'd been careful not to use his powers on Shinji when he'd dragged him back here and pinned him down; he was pretty sure Shinji would hate him more for that than anything else. But there was no reason he couldn't use them on himself. He'd have to be careful, because if he overdid it then he'd be light enough for Shinji to shove him away--but he made himself just enough lighter that he wasn't worried about crushing him, and stretched out on top of Shinji, holding him as best he could.

"I know," he repeated softly, "and I'm sorry too."

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No, not hugs; Shinji couldn't fight against hugs! He felt tears building in his eyes but refused to let them fall, shaky hands coming up to clutch at one of Kippei's arms. He was going to lose the quiet room, and he had to let it go or he was going to hurt Kippei. Fuck. Just...fuck.

"I hate them," he noted a little coldly, still in shock, still struggling not to fight back and bolt back, say to hell with it and go down with it. "I hate them all." And when he got his powers back they were going to know just how much he hated them.

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Kippei could feel Shinji's hands shaking as he held on, which betrayed even more than the panicky anger how upset Shinji really was about this.

"That, we agree on," he answered grimly. Somebody was so going to pay for this. Even if it was his own sister. She'd already chosen her side, and it wasn't his.

"Just please don't die for them," he said softly, holding Shinji as tightly as he could. "If I ever have to lose you then please... not like this. They'll win. If you love your room then live to pay them back for it. Dying isn't going to save it. And--" he hesitated, one hand finding Shinji's hair and wrapping it around his fingers. "I need you. I need you to stay here."

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Fine then. Kippei needed him here. He couldn't save his room because he had to look after Kippei. He could live with that. But he could also live to make them pay because it was going to hurt a whole hell of a lot when that blue went away and there was nowhere to hide from what he was.

"I'm not...gonna die. You're stuck with me, remember?" But god he wanted to run over there right now and use a giant fly swapper to whap their arses back to that ugly school.

"...You're playing with my hair again."

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Kippei released the breath he'd been holding, partly a sigh of relief, and partly of amusement. About time Shinji remembered that, then. As long as they weren't dead, they could do anything.

"Mhmm," he murmured, stroking it out and spreading the blue strands in soft ripples over the blanket. "It'll be okay, Shin. It's gonna be okay."

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"But where am I gonna go? I...Im not like you. I cant...pain is horrible." He sighed glumly and closed his eyes, enjoying the fingers fiddling with his hair. "I dont get it. Why isnt Sakaki doing anything? He must know people are coming to wreck the school so how come he hasnt tried to stop them? Its not just the quiet room, its the med lab and that whole building. That's an important building. He better not expect us to rebuild it."

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Kippei shook his head, not having any of the answers. He had no idea what was going on in Sakaki's damn fool head, and much as Shinji seemed to like the guy, Kippei wasn't at all surprised by this lack of concern. He'd never had a terribly high opinion of the man--he'd come here because it was safe, and nobody cared what he'd done, not because he had any particular liking for the man himself. For Shinji, he knew, it was different, but he was only a little bit sorry, for Shinji's sake, that he was being disullusioned.

"I don't know... maybe he can't do anything either," Kippei told him. Or wouldn't, but same thing. Maybe he just didn't care. Kippei sighed and kissed Shinji's temple. "You'll be okay. If we need to I will take you somewhere that's quiet, okay? You'll be okay, I promise."

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He promised. And Kippei always kept his promises. And it didn't seem so bad, getting to go away with Kippei to where there weren't any people.

"Hmm...can we go camping? In a tent? And make food on a fire? And have lots of sex? And go swimming in a waterfall?" That would make it worth losing his room.

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Kippei chuckled, nuzzling his neck and placing a soft kiss on his jaw. "Yes, to all of the above. Anything you want, babe. I'll make it up to you. And then we'll get them back." That was also a promise.

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Well that would be one way to take his mind off the fact that people were coming to destroy his room. Shinji wrapped his arms tight around Kippei and wriggled around, trying to get more limbs free, huffing loudly when he couldn't.

"Lemme up! I can't kiss you everywhere if I cant move you know."

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